Touhou! One of my favorite video game franchises of all time. You can expect a fair amount of Touhou on this list, but Touhou 14.3: Impossible Spell Card is notable for being the only one of series creator ZUN's spinoffs. There are a bunch of Touhou spinoffs out there from the fighting games which I haven't played to some smaller-scale experiments which 14.3 falls into. That being said, calling ISC just a simple experiment would be a disappointment. It's actually one of the most thoughtfully put together games ZUN has ever made.
Okay, so I know Touhou is a massive franchise and its lore is a lot so I'll try to keep things simple. Touhou 14.3 is a spinoff of the series based around the primary antagonist of the previous game, Seija Kijin. Seija is essentially an opposite day youkai called an amanojaku, meaning she hates what people likes, likes what people hates, will always do the opposite of what she's ordered to do, and will be a jerk and cause chaos because that's the opposite of what she should be doing. Without delving too deep into Touhou 14's plot, Seija wants to overthrow society so she uses an inchling named Sukuna to get access to a miracle mallet she could use to make docile youkai go berserk and corrupt people's weapons. Obviously, she's defeated by the main protagonists and as of Impossible Spell Card, Seija is wanted for a bounty after everything she's done. Seija isn't that strong of a youkai, so on top of her laundry list of other crimes ranging from petty to war, she's stolen a bunch of items from other members of the cast that she can use to keep herself safe. And with all that background covered, let's talk about the game.
Impossible Spell Card can best be described as a cross between a bullet hell and a puzzle game. In each of the 75 levels, Seija is pitting against a impossible bullet pattern and it's up to you to figure out how to use the different items to get past that pattern. You start off with only a fabric you can use to hide in the background for a few seconds, but you slowly get more and more cheating items you can pick from like an umbrella that lets you screen warp, a camera that lets you clear away bullets, and a literal bomb. Each item also has a passive ability that you can use if you equip it as a secondary item, so by the end of the game, you have a pretty massive number of item combinations that you can use to tackle each stage. That's why I said ISC feels like a puzzle game. All of the bullet patterns feel meticulously designed to take advantage of all the cheating items, and you need to figure out the best combination for any given pattern. The difficulty curve isn't just great because the bullet patterns naturally get harder, it's also great because you slowly get more items and combinations that you'll need to experiment with. It's just such a creative take on the bullet hell formula that makes each stage super satisfying to figure out. ZUN said himself that this game required the most playtesting out of any Touhou game and yeah, it really shows.
While it may not have any difficulty levels like all the mainline Touhou games, Impossible Spell Card is also incredibly accessible. As I said earlier, each pattern has at least one item combo that can make getting past it fairly easy in terms of execution, and even if you're stuck on a few patterns, you never need to beat all of them to move onto the next batch. And on top of that, you can level up each of the items by using them so even failed attempts will still feel like progress. If you do want more difficulty out of ISC, however, it keeps track of which items you use for each pattern, meaning 100% will require you to figure out how to use all nine of the items to make it through each pattern. Even outside of that, there's a whole achievements board to fill out, the first one in the series too. And if that's still not enough for you, I haven't even gotten to the most genius part about Impossible Spell Card: It's not impossible at all. Whether it's with careful positioning, tight micrododging, or discovering some other exploit, every single pattern is totally possible without using items at all, and the game even keeps track of it. It's just such a brilliant move, and kinda fits the cheating theme of the game really well. Between the 100 puzzles, many item combinations, achievements, leveling system, and trying to become the Ultimate Cheating Life Form, this game packs in a ton of content for all types of players.
But while the gameplay itself is already immaculately designed, what really solidifies Impossible Spell Card as one of my favorite Touhou games is the story, my favorite story in the franchise. I've already rambled about Seija as a character and what ISC does with her several times before, but I want to really go into detail about it here. At its surface, Impossible Spell Card is a fun John Wick-esque narrative where you get to play as the villain for once, fighting against tons of protagonists and other antagonists alike as they all try to get a piece of that bounty. Seija is very much a bad guy, probably one of the baddest guys in the franchise, and that's part of the fun. But every once in a while, you're going to have to fight one of Seija's past allies from the previous game. First it's the Grassroots Youkai Network that formed Touhou 14's earlier bosses, then it's the very tsukumogami she created with that Miracle Mallet, and finally, even her closest ally Sukuna turns on her. It's deserved too, Seija manipulated Sukuna all throughout that last game. Sukuna calling her out for it is absolutely warranted.
You could argue that Impossible Spell Card is a character study of Seija
and what it means to be an amanojaku. Each of the ten batches of levels
comes with a line of dialogue from Seija which shows her change from
cocky and confident, to suddenly worried as she starts getting pressured
by everyone else. But once Sukuna turns her back on her, Seija gains a
new sense of determination, claiming she'll make enemies of everyone
instead. By the end of the game, with everyone having turned against her, Seija has realized that she doesn't
need "allies", and owns her status as an amanojaku, leading to this ending message:
You've captured all the scenes!
This is something to be proud of.
However, in return for this,
Seija has lost all her allies.
It's not something to be sad about.
No matter what, amanojaku
will never be able to make friends, after all...
See? A totally happy ending... right? Why do I feel conflicted about this?
Part of it is the jingle that plays, which doesn't sound super triumphant or tragic? It just sounds... really mixed and confused. As if the game itself isn't sure of whether or not this counts as a happy ending or not. Even Seija doesn't look happy or triumphant, just exhausted and relieved it's all over. I think the fact that Seija is unable to make any allies or friends because of her nature is kind of a tragedy. Those few scenes where her past allies called her out didn't feel cathartic, only pitiful. It feels like she ruins everything for herself because she has to, and she has no idea what she's missing. Seija pushes everyone away because she doesn't know any better, because that's what amanojakus do, right? And when you're looking at her through the perspective of humanity, a social species, that feels really sad.
And that of course begs the question: Can Seija ever change? Can she ever actually make friends, or even desire companionship enough to do so? I think she can, and there's evidence as such. As I said earlier, Sukuna pushing back against Seija was kind of a huge turning point from her, she almost seemed angry about it, and reacting by embracing the fact that she doesn't need any allies. And since this game came out, supplementary material has shown that Seija has been warming up to Sukuna, and they even reconcile in Grimoire Of Usami. Do you see why I find Impossible Spell Card's narrative so fascinating? For as simple of a story as it is, for how minimal it is in terms of dialogue, it explores Seija in such interesting and thought-provoking ways. It really delves into the nature of this unique mythical species and whether or not someone as misanthropic and contrary as Seija could ever actually care about anyone. It doesn't redeem her, not in the slightest she's still a pretty awful youkai, but it puts the player inside her head for a bit and shows just how conflicting and lonely her life really is.
Oh yeah, and since this is a Touhou game, the music is naturally really good. There's a heavy emphasis on rock and synth that really fits a character as edgy as Seija, and tracks like Raise The Flag on Cheating, Cheat Against The Impossible Danmaku, and Eternal Transient Reign go incredibly hard. There isn't really too much else I can say about it, it's a really short soundtrack, but it's more great Touhou music goodness.
As you could probably tell from the fact that I spent roughly four paragraphs raving about ISC's story and Seija as a character that this is a game I am very normal about. For a little spinoff game, Impossible Spell Card has one of Touhou's most thought-provoking narratives and character arcs and has so much substance if you choose to look a bit deeper into it. But even if you don't care about Seija's fascinating conflict, you still get an incredible hybrid between a bullet hell and a puzzle game with an inventive premise, thoughtful bullet patterns, a great sense of accessibility for all skill levels, and a ridiculous amount of replay value for those who really want to dive into the game's mechanics. I think thoughtful really is the best word to describe Impossible Spell Card, it feels more purposeful than anything else ZUN has ever made.
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