Reviewing Every James Bond Movie: Final Rankings

And here we are, I watched the entire James Bond series. This is what you've been waiting for, here's my ranking of the Bond films:

1. On Her Majesty's Secret Service
2. Casino Royale
3. Tomorrow Never Dies
4. Goldfinger
5. Goldeneye
6. Skyfall
7. For Your Eyes Only
8. License To Kill
9. From Russia With Love
10. The Spy Who Loved Me
11. The Living Daylights
12. You Only Live Twice
13. Octopussy
    
14. Dr No
15. Moonraker
16. No Time To Die
17. Thunderball
18. The World Is Not Enough
19. Spectre
20. Quantum Of Solace
21. A View To A Kill
22. Live And Let Die
23. Die Another Day
24. Diamonds Are Forever
25. The Man With The Golden Gun

And you know what, let's go the whole hog here, I also ranked the Bond actors, not just by the movies but also their performances:

1. Pierce Brosnan (I don't care. Brosnan is an ideal Bond for me, he has the appearance and attitude down pat. I grew up with this guy, I love his games, he's the first person to come to mind when I think of the character. I know his films can be a bit trashy, but I think the first two are legitimately great and even the bad ones have great performances from him and loads of potential.)
   
2. Daniel Craig (Probably my favorite in terms of acting, he perfectly embodies Bond. His movies may be polarizing, but even his worst isn't as bad as some of the others' worst. So many Bond actors get tired of the role and stop putting in effort in the later films, but Craig kills it even when he's thinking of leaving.)
3. Timothy Dalton (Dalton is the most underrated Bond, hands down. I don't even think he's too serious, he can do sly sarcasm perfectly. Both of his films are great if not super remarkable, and his acting is consistently fantastic. I wish he made more movies, but I'm also glad it means he didn't end up getting a dud.
4. Sean Connery (Sean Connery is the quintessential Bond, for sure, and he has some iconic movies, but he also has some weak films and performances, and the sexism/racism of the era can be hard to look past at times.)
5. George Lazenby (OHMSS is a phenomenal movie, one of if not the best in the series, but it's not because of Lazenby as an actor. He's good as the tender personal stuff but otherwise he's kinda meh.)
6. Roger Moore (Moore has his good points. TSWLM and FYEO are genuinely great, and Octopussy and Moonraker are fun. However, his run is married with tension-breaking comedy, a disgustingly thin and sleazy portrayal in the near unwatchable first two movies, and the fact that he visibly aged out of the role by the end.)
   

As well as the Bond villains:

1. Alec Trevelyan (Goldeneye)
2. Goldfinger (Goldfinger)
3. Blofeld (You Only Live Twice)
4. Elektra King (The World Is Not Enough)
5. Le Chiffre (Casino Royale)
6. Elliot Carver (Tomorrow Never Dies)
7. Blofeld (On Her Majesty's Secret Service)
8. Max Zorin (A View To A Kill)
9. Scaramanga (The Man With The Golden Gun)
10. Rosa Klebb (From Russia With Love)
11. Franz Sanchez (License To Kill)
12. Hugo Drax (Moonraker)
13. Silva (Skyfall)
14. Stromberg (The Spy Who Loved Me)
15. Dr Kananga (Live Or Let Die)
16. Emilio Largo (Thunderball)
17. Safin (No Time To Die)
18. Dr No (Dr No)
19. Kristatos (For Your Eyes Only)
20. Koskov & Whitaker (The Living Daylights)
21. Kamal Khan (Octopussy)
22. Blofeld (Diamonds Are Forever)
23. Gustav Graves (Die Another Day)
24. Dominic Greene (Quantum Of Solace)
25. Blofeld (Spectre)

As well as the Bond henchmen:

1. Jaws (The Spy Who Loved Me/Moonraker)
2. Oddjob (Goldfinger)
3. Dario (License To Kill)
4. Necros (The Living Daylights)
5. Red Grant (From Russia With Love)
6. Mr Hinx (Spectre)
7. Mr Wint & Mr Kidd (Diamonds Are Forever)
8. Miranda Frost (Die Another Day)
9. May Day (A View To A Kill)
10. Stamper (Tomorrow Never Dies)
11. Tee-Hee (Live And Let Die)
12. Onatopp (Goldeneye)
13. Bunt (On Her Majesty's Secret Service)
14. Eric Kriegler (For Your Eyes Only)
15. Fiona Volpe (Thunderball)
16. Renard (The World Is Not Enough)
17. General Orlov (Octopussy)
18. Professor Bunt (Dr No)
19. Osata (You Only Live Twice)
20. Tang Ling Zao (Die Another Day)
21. General Medrano (Quantum Of Solace)
22. Nick Nack (The Man With The Golden Gun)
23. Baron Samedi (Live And Let Die)

As well as the Bond girls:

1. M (Skyfall)
2. Tracy (On Her Majesty's Secret Service)
3. Octopussy (Octopussy)
   
4. Wai Lin (Tomorrow Never Dies)
5. Vesper (Casino Royale)
   
6. Melina (For Your Eyes Only)
7. Pam (License To Kill)
8. Domino (Thunderball)
9. Camille (Quantum Of Solace)
10. Kara Milovy (The Living Daylights)
11. Anya Amasova (The Spy Who Loved Me)
12. Stacey Sutton (A View To A Kill)
13. Pussy Galore (Goldfinger)
14. Natalya (Goldeneye)
15. Jinx (Die Another Day)
16. Tatiana Romanova (From Russia With Love)
17. Nomi (No Time To Die)
18. Honey Ryder (Dr No)
19. Madeleine (Spectre/No Time To Die)
20. Solitare (Live And Let Die)
21. Kissy (You Only Live Twice)
22. Holly Goodhead (Moonraker)
23. Tiffany Case (Diamonds Are Forever)
24. Mary Goodnight (The Man With The Golden Gun)
25. Christmas Jones (The World Is Not Enough)

As well as the Bond openings:

1. Trevelyan's Death (Goldeneye) - In the span of a single opening, Brosnan goes bungee jumping, watches Sean Bean die for the 20th time, evades a room-full of Russians, chases after a plane on foot, chases after a plane on motorcycle, and rides said motorycle off a cliff before entering said plane in mid-air. Peak Bond.
2. Bond Dies (Skyfall) - Not the biggest fan of it on a story level but when the action is this dynamic, inventive, and fun, it's hard to really care.
3. Ski Chase (The Spy Who Loved Me) - A fun chase scene with a groovy score capped off with one of the coolest stunts in any film ever.
4. Bond Makes 00 (Casino Royale) - Short but sweet, the action is brutal and punchy, and the editing is on-point.
5. Parachute Grab (Moonraker) - Roger Moore really does have the best stunts. Utterly awe-inspiring.
6. Day Of The Dead (Spectre) - Though disconnected from the plot, a stylish and elegant sequence with a great long-take and some impressive stunts.
7. Nuclear Missile (Tomorrow Never Dies) - While not anything too special, the MI-6 focus was a welcome change of pace and the action was typically great
8. Red Grant's Debut (From Russia With Love) - A perfectly intimidating debut for one of the better Bond henchmen
9. Madeline's Backstory & Italy Chase (No Time To Die) - Way too long for an opening and I wasn't a fan of the Madeleine stuff but that chase scene was fantastic.
10. Hovercraft Chase (Die Another Day) - Feels like an entirely different movie from the one we got, but not inherently a bad one, the chase is actually pretty fun!
11. The Jetpack (Thunderball) - That opening fight scene? Top-notch. Bond pulling a jetpack out of nowhere? Utterly ridiculous. Thunderball in a nutshell.
12. Siberia Chase (A View To A Kill) - Definitely a fun and dynamic action sequence, though you can tell it's a TSWLM clone and the California Girls needle-drop is bizarre
13. Homing Missile (Octopussy) - Not super remarkable but stands up with all of the cool Moore era stunts.
14. Spy Training (The Living Daylights) - Fun action, good intro to Dalton's Bond, but I can't shake the fact that it's basically just Among Us
15. Boat Chase (The World Is Not Enough) - There were some cool stunts in there, but the chase felt oddly sluggish, probably because of the opening's crushing length
16. Shaken Not Stirred (Goldfinger) - A perfect encapsulation of everything that makes Bond Bond, but it doesn't really stand out on its own merits.
17. Making The Wedding (License To Kill) - While the central stunt was awe-inducing, the action in general just wasn't as frantic as in some of the other openings.
18. Killing Off Blofeld (For Your Eyes Only) - The helicopter fight was fun and all, but man, what a lackluster way to kill off a character.
19. Car Chase (Quantum Of Solace) - A fun and chaotic chase marred by choppy and inconsistent editing. 
20. Gasp! Another Bond?! (On Her Majesty's Secret Service) - It's not a bad opening but the beach fight feels pretty small-scale and unmemorable compared to like literally every other opening
21. Scaramanga's Gun (The Man With The Golden Gun) - Decent intro for Scaramanga but feels like a lesser version of FRWL's opening
22. Bond Dies (You Only Live Twice) - The space stuff was visually cool but come on, did anyone actually believe Bond was dead?
23. Agents Die (Live And Let Die) - Bond doesn't even show up, what a waste!
24. "Where's Blofeld?!" (Diamonds Are Forever) - What a messy-ass and misleading opening. The pacing and tone is so out of control here.

As well as the Bond third acts:

1. The Cradle (Goldeneye) - Tense, exciting, climactic final battle with one of the best villain deaths in the series. A case study in how to pull off a third act.
2. Volcano Base Showdown (You Only Live Twice) - Everything you'd want from a final battle. It's tense, thrilling, bonkers, and exciting. From Blofeld, to the ninjas, to the volcano set, to the action scenes, what's not to like?
3. Tanker Truck Chase (License To Kill) - Super chaotic, utterly balls-to-the-walls action with some truly crazy stuntwork. LTK really saved the best for last.
4. Storming Blofeld's Base (On Her Majesty's Secret Service) - Fantastic third act, the bobsled fight was shockingly brutal, Tracy actually got to fight, and that final scene is truly legendary.
5. Stopping The Bomb And Saving Octopussy (Octopussy) - A third act so good it makes the film better. Filled with impressive stunts, nail-biting tension, bonkers pacing, and some truly dynamic action sequences. An all-time high for the series.
6. Fort Knox (Goldfinger) - Maybe a bit cheesy nowadays but Bond's fights with Oddjob and Goldfinger respectively are great, and the whole third act feels climactic and perfectly-paced.
7. Spaceship Battle (Moonraker) - Is it stupid? Yes. Is it badass? Yes. Say what you will about Bond going to space, this is a climactic battle elevated by phenomenal set design and special effects. Also, Jaws and Bond teaming up is just plain sick, I'm sorry.
8. Mountainside Battle (For Your Eyes Only) - That cliff climbing sequence is one of my favorite moments in all of Bond, nail-bitingly tense.
9. Vesper's Death (Casino Royale) - As disjointed as it is, the action is as tight as the rest of the movie, and Vesper's death still hits hard.
10. Stromberg's Lair (The Spy Who Loved Me) - Not super remarkable but satisfying nonetheless, the set design is great, the big battle scene is impressive to this day, Stromberg and Jaws got great deaths, and the bomb defusal was one of the more tense Bond scenes
11. Submarine Fight (Tomorrow Never Dies) - While a bit over-indulgant in its action, it's still a fun and tense end to a great film
12. Home Invasion (Skyfall) - M's death? Fantastic. Visuals? Stunning. The Home Alone-esque final battle? Kinda lame.
13. "One Shot, Make It Count" (Quantum Of Solace) - The action is as uneven as the rest of the movie, but damn do those final scenes save it for me.
14. Golden Gate Bridge (A View To A Kill) - While short and slightly hampered by Moore's age, this is still a tense and climactic final battle with a fantastic setting.
15. Destroying The Opium (The Living Daylights) - A bit hit or miss. The ground-level fight was a bit of a mess and Whitaker's final battle was underwhelming, but goddamn, if that cargo plane fight isn't one of the best setpieces in the whole series
16. Bond Dies (No Time To Die) - The staircase fight is fun, but the Safin fight is anticlimactic, and the ending is way too overlong and sappy.
17. Racing To Venice (From Russia With Love) - A sequence of good but disconnected action sequences that feel like the film was losing steam after Red Grant's death.
18. Taking Down Kananga (Live Or Let Die) - The Samedi fight was ridiculous, but both the shark sequence and the Tee-Hee fight were genuinely suspenseful and ended the movie on a relatively good note
19. Submarine Fight (The World Is Not Enough) - Even if Renard is lame, this could've been a really tense and claustrophobic finale if it didn't feel so cheap.
20. Underwater War (Thunderball) - I actually like the underwater battles, it still looks super great today. The boat fight, on the other hand, was ruined by liberal usage of speed-up.
21. Vs Dr No (Dr No) - Definitely the best action scene in the film, brutal and tense, but it's also short and fairly oafish
22. House Of Mirrors (The Man With The Golden Gun) - Cartoonish setting aside, the mano-a-mano showdown between Bond and Scaramanga was decent by the film's dreadfully low standards, but then that awful Nick Nack fight ruined things.
23. Plane Fight (Die Another Day) - At this point, DAD has gone full sci-fi and it's as fun as it is ridiculous. It's also by no means a good third act for any movie.
24. Oil Rig Finale (Diamonds Are Forever) - Like much of the rest of the film, it's just plain off. The cheap-looking explosions, the dull lighting, the typically uneven tone, the bad editing, it's just... not good... at all...
25. London Fight (Spectre) - The film already lost my good will with Blofeld but the lack of any sort of tension or kinetic action leads to a very bland ending.

And finally, the lyrical Bond themes:

1. You Know My Name (Casino Royale) - This is definitely my rock bias showing, but You Know my Name just hits different.
2. Live And Let Die - This is the only Bond theme I regularly hear on the radio, and absolutely deserved. It's dynamic, unique, and distinctly Paul McCartney.
3. Goldeneye - Smooth. As. Hell.
4. The World Is Not Enough - Another great rock track. It's dark, edgy, and packs a killer hook.
5. The Living Daylights - Damn, the Take On Me guys made a Bond theme? It's good too, a real 80s head-banger. Not enough people talk about this one, it's really good.
6. Skyfall - Adele is always a win. An opening so good they tried to replicate it twice to no avail.
7. A View To A Kill - One of those themes where you can really feel the artist's influence. This is a Duran Duran song through and through, with all of their typically fantastic quirks. 
8. You Only Live Twice - Wistful and dreamlike in the best way possible, Nancy Sinatra's voice and the guitar in the background just mesh perfectly with each other
9. Tomorrow Never Dies - A solid track elevated by Sheryl Crow's vocals and a strong chorus.
10. All Time High (Octopussy) - Just good vibes throughout. A romantic ballad that actually fits the film.
11. Diamonds Are Forever - Takes a bit of time to really build up, but that drop in the middle is so groovy. Definitely the biggest earworm of Bassey's themes.
12. Goldfinger - Super iconic, with great lyrics and vocals from Bassey, but not the type of theme I'd listen to outside of the context of the movie.
13. Moonraker - Easily one of the most, if not the most beautiful Bond theme, though it's not all that hummable. As you can see, Bassey's themes are all similar in quality for me.
14. The Man With The Golden Gun - I love how it's basically a Disney villain song, it just has that kind of energy
15. Another Way To Die (Quantum Of Solace) - Underrated song, honestly. It's shamelessly 2000s, but super catchy.
16. License To Kill - I did not expect one of the darkest Bond movies to get a full-on 80s power ballad. It's a good song, but it doesn't come anywhere near fitting the movie.
17. Thunderball - Tom Jones's booming voice really carries this one because otherwise, this song is kind of a bore
18. For Your Eyes Only - The first 80s Bond film gets a very 80s theme song. It's fine, but the similar License To Kill just clinches it for me.
19. Nobody Does It Better (The Spy Who Loved Me) - Yeah, I'm sorry, this one is just too corny for me
20. No Time To Die - I like Billie Eilish, don't get me wrong, but I don't think her style fits a Bond theme.
21. Writing On The Wall (Spectre) - I don't want to bash Sam Smith too much, but let's face it, this song is very grating.
22. Die Another Day - Did Madonna seriously just say "Analyze this"?! Filth. Pure filth.

Honorable Mention goes to the theme song to On Her Majesty's Secret Service, which hits super hard after watching the film and I'd say is even better than the main James Bond theme.

Reviewing Every James Bond Movie: Connery Era

I really enjoy the James Bond series and have seen plenty of its films, but I've never ended up going through all of them. I could just fill in the blanks whenever one pops up on a streaming service, but I've always do a full marathon, see all the movies one after the other. And with Amazon Prime getting all of the Bond films for a "limited time", I thought this was as good a time as any to go through the series once and for all. 

There is one issue, however. Spectre, one of the last Bond films, is leaving Prime in like a week. So I decided to give this marathon a bit of a twist. I'm going to watch the James Bond movies in reverse actor order, meaning I'm going to start with the Craig movies, then watch the Brosnan films, and keep going until I end with Connery. So Spectre will be one of the first movies I watch, and I won't have to cram 23 movies into like 9 days. Let's finish things with the Sean Connery era:

Since I've watched plenty of these movies already, I wanted to mark the ones that I'm rewatching rather than going into blind. To keep things simple, if you see the (R) symbol next to a movie, that means that I've seen it before and that this is a rewatch.

Dr. No: I'm just going to get this out of the way, I don't love the Connery films like so many Bond fans do. He has some gems, but it's hard to look past the especially bad racism and sexism. Being the first Bond film, Dr No has a bunch of these issues right off the bat, but even with them and a noticeably low budget, it still manages to tell a somewhat compelling spy story.

Befitting the first entry in the series, Dr No has a simple-enough story. An agent gets killed, Bond heads to Jamaica to find the culprit, and ends up facing off with the sinister Dr No who wants to disrupt a space launch. I like that Dr No's face is hidden for much of the movie, not only because his face itself hasn't aged well (more on that later), but because it creates a great sense of mystery. I think that's the best thing about Dr No, the mystery. Dr No is a mysterious figure who lives on a mysterious island, guarded by a "dragon", it's hard not to get wrapped up in the mystique of it all. I was also fascinated by Bond's portrayal here. Having seen the next few movies, Connery plays Bond as especially detached in Dr No, which I actually kinda like. He's not suave or confident, just focused on the mission, even in normal conversation. Of course, this does have its consequences, his treatment of female characters is very hard to watch and the movie never depicts him as in the wrong for it, but I still found it interesting to see Connery give a more muted performance compared to what I'm used to seeing from him. I also pleasantly enjoyed many of the side characters, particularly the charming Quarrel who I found immensely likable despite the film's treatment of him.

However, my big issue with Dr No lies in the fact that, production-wise, it hasn't aged well in the slightest. This was a fairly low budget film, especially compared to its sequels, and it kinda shows. The action is really bad a lot of the time, slow and obviously staged. The car chase is the worst of the bunch, repeatedly cutting to Connery giving exaggerated driving expressions. Speaking of which, the acting also isn't great a lot of the time. Connery is mostly fine and Wiseman is menacing as Dr No, but many of the line deliveries are stilted and Ursula Andress as Honey Ryder feels especially awkward. Dr No has some elements that are obvious meant to be scary but just don't land nowadays. The moments of violence feel like they're meant to be more extreme than they actually are, which makes sense given the time period, and that tarantula scene goes from potentially scary to laughable when you realize tarantulas are pretty much harmless. I liked the "dragon" though, that was a pretty inventive bit of low-budget filmmaking. But I think the worst-aged element of Dr No is easily the use of yellowface for all the Asian characters. I'm sorry, but even with a low budget, there's no way Eon couldn't get Asian actors for people like Dr No. Wiseman is a good actor here but I'd much rather have someone who's actually Asian. I really don't need to tell you why Dr No using yellowface for its Asian characters is so uncomfortable, and it does drag the film down for me.

Overall, Dr No is a solid first Bond film, one that I genuinely enjoyed. It has a tight plot, a compelling mystery, strong performances from Connery and Wiseman, and a solid cast of characters. However, it's hard not to feel like it aged pretty terribly in terms of production, with bad action, at times clunky acting, and worst of all, the usage of yellowface.

3/5 Stars

From Russia With Love (R): From Russia With Love is the most faultless Connery film. It's not my favorite, but I think it's the best one, improving on its predecessor in almost every way.

From Russia With Love is about Bond having to escort a USSR defector only to discover that it's a trap set-up by SPECTRE to acquire a Soviet coding machine. This storyline is actually pretty different from many other Bond films, since he's not inherently trying to stop a villain with some grand plan. Rather, FRWL feels like a never-ending chase as Bond is relentlessly pursued by SPECTRE agents who will stop at nothing to take him out. Furthering this storyline are the two main antagonists, Rosa Klebb and Red Grant, who are easily two of the cruelest and most intimidating in the series. Red Grant in particular is a cold-hearted assassin who the series would repeatedly try to re-capture to no avail (though they came close with Mr Hinx). Something I always liked about From Russia With Love is how it focuses on capturing the danger that comes with being a spy. It's not the only Bond film to explore those themes, but it is the first one, and some of my most fondly-remembered scenes of FRWL include that long sequence of Bond meticulously scouting his hotel room, and the several points where Bond's assumed moment of peace is interrupted by one of the villains. Despite this, I feel like From Russia With Love could've taken those themes even further. I know that this was the 60s and there's only so much Eon could do, but I feel like FRWL would be even better is Bond had lost in some way, whether it was losing the machine or losing the Bond girl, just to hammer home the point of how dangerous his job is. Thankfully, OHMSS would end up doing that with Tracy's death, but it does make FRWL feel a bit half-baked by comparison.

As far as production goes, From Russia With Love is a massive improvement over Dr No. In general, the acting is a lot more consistently strong, and the writing feels a bit less clunky. Connery's performance isn't as detached as it was in Dr No, but he's still great in the role. The action is a lot grander and more well-executed, from the all-out war in the Romani camp, to the deservedly iconic and wincingly brutal train fight, to the impressive helicopter and boat chases that cap off the film. It's kind of hard to imagine that the film came out only a year after Dr No, From Russia With Love feels so ahead of its time in its action sequences. My only gripe with the action is that the third act does feel a bit weak. Red Grant gets killed off at the end of the second act and it feels like the writers didn't know where to go from there, so they just tossed Bond into a bunch of disconnected setpieces. They're fun setpieces, don't get me wrong, but they feel less purposeful than the ones in the first half of the film. I also think this is probably the least "problematic" Connery Bond film, which does earn it some brownie points, I guess? There's no yellowface, rape, or black people that turn into gorillas here, though Bond's treatment of women is still pretty bad, and the Romani camp sequence is stuffed to the brim with stereotypes so it's not like this movie is entirely devoid of criticism.

Overall, From Russia With Love is a genuinely great Bond film and a massive improvement over its predecessor in terms of writing, acting, and general production. While the third act is weak and it could've gone a bit further with its themes, FRWL is still a tense spy thriller that expands on its predecessor by depicting Bond's job in a slightly less flattering light.

4/5 Stars

Goldfinger (R): Goldfinger is almost the best Bond film ever made. People call it the quintessential Bond film for establishing many of the series' trends, but that does it a bit of a disservice. Goldfinger isn't just the first usage of the Bond formula, rather, it's Eon having perfected the Bond formula. 

Goldfinger involves Bond looking into the titular gold-obsessed businessman who wants to increase the value of his gold by destroying Fort Knox. The first half of Goldfinger is a pretty standard, though still fun, Bond film that introduces a lot of the series' iconic quirks. There's the first true Bond opening, the first theme song, Bond's first "shaken not stirred" drink, and the first gadgets, which get used in one of my favorite car chases in the entire franchise. But what really elevates Goldfinger for me is actually the second half where Bond gets captured and held at Goldfinger's estate. I've seen people claim that they don't like the fact that Bond spends much of the film in captivity, but I'd argue that this is what makes the movie brilliant. There are plenty of Bond films where James Bond doesn't meet the villain until near the end of the film, so they don't get much time to really build a rapport. In Goldfinger, Bond spends 50% of the film talking with almost exclusively the titular antagonist, and their dynamic and banter on its own is genuinely engaging. On his own, Goldfinger is a fine enough villain, but the fact that he develops such a close rivalry with Bond elevates him to being one of the best in the series.

On a production level, Goldfinger is once again a big improvement over its predecessor as well. The action scenes are generally pretty great, especially the aforementioned car chase and the final fight with Oddjob. Ken Adams gets his first chance to really shine with the set design and it shows in how pretty and intricate Goldfinger's estate is. Being such a dialogue-heavy film, Goldfinger's script is also on-point especially in regards to Bond and Goldfinger's interactions, and at a short 1h50m, the pacing is pretty much perfect. As a whole, Goldfinger has everything I would want in a Bond film. It does everything right, and it's so close to being an easy 5/5 Stars. Unfortunately, Goldfinger also has what is probably the most uncomfortable scene in the entire Bond franchise. So the Bond girl this time around is Pussy Galore, who's originally on Goldfinger's side and shows zero attraction to Bond. So what does Bond do to get her to turn-coat? He corners her in a barn and... rapes... her. Oh, boy. This isn't the only time Bond would force or trick someone into sleeping with him but it's never this explicit, to the point where I felt disgusted and sick watching it. The barn scene in Goldfinger is a blight on an otherwise near-perfect film, and it drags the movie down a decent amount.

Overall, Goldfinger is mostly a phenomenal film and one of the best entries in the series. The plot is solid, Bond's dynamic with the villain is great, the writing is sharp, the henchman is intimidating, the set design is wonderful, the action is fun, and the final battle is one of the better ones in the series. It didn't just introduce the Bond tropes, it perfected them. However, the otherwise fantastic Goldfinger also has easily the most uncomfortable and disgusting instance of Bond's sexism in the entire franchise, and it drags down the film a decent amount. I love Goldfinger, but I will never be okay with that. 

4.5/5 Stars

Thunderball (R): I pleasantly enjoyed Thunderball on first viewing, but I think more than any other film I rewatched, this is the one that I really ended up liking less on second viewing. I get why I liked it at first, but in hindsight, it's just too muddled to really work for me.

Thunderball's core story works pretty well. Emilio Largo from SPECTRE stole some nuclear bombs and Bond needs to track them down, it's a perfectly solid and suspenseful Bond plot. Even better is the Bond girl Domino, who kicks off the trend of Bond girls who start off working for the bad guys before realizing they suck and turning on them, and I still think she's one of the best iterations of the archetype because she actually gets the final kill at the end of the film. I also really like Thunderball's divisive focus on underwater sequences. I know some people find the underwater stuff to be slow and pad out the movie, but I actually think they're the highlights of the film. They're tense, super visually impressive for the time, and the final underwater war in particular is a ton of fun. The Bond series would continue to have underwater sequences, but in terms of clarity and spectacle, I still don't think any of them top the ones from Thunderball.

Unfortunately, while all of that stuff is great, Thunderball has a lot of issues that drag the film down for me. For starters, outside of the underwater stuff, I found the action scenes to generally be a step-down from the last two films. A bunch of the fight scenes, most-notably the last one, have been blatantly sped up and look absolutely awful. But even they're not as bad as that baffling sequence where Bond almost gets killed by a massage machine. Yeah, let's talk about the worst thing about Thunderball, the tone. This is the first Bond film where it feels like the crew is starting to lean a bit into the silliness, but you can tell that they're not really committing. So large stretches of Thunderball are fairly normal, only for the movie to blindside you with moments like Bond's jetpack and the aforementioned massage scene. This isn't the only Bond film with tonal issues, it's an issue most of Moore's run would deal with, but I don't think they're nearly as jarring and frustrating as they are in Thunderball. Also, while not as bad as the barn scene in the last movie, Bond blackmailing a woman into sleeping with him is yet another awful bit of 60s sexism.

Thunderball had the pieces to be a genuinely great Bond film, with a solid main premise, a great Bond girl, and some truly impressive underwater sequences. However, it's dragged down by an inconsistent tone and some truly horrid action sequences. As a result, it's easily the most forgettable of Connery's films. 

2.5/5 Stars

You Only Live Twice (partially watched): Okay, so I know I said Goldeneye was the first Bond film I watched, but that's not entirely true. You Only Live Twice was on TV once when I was a kid, so I watched the last 30-45 minutes of it. However, that was a very long time ago, and I don't remember much about it. All I remember is the awesome volcanic base sequence, Blofeld's amazing debut, and... well... Bond putting on yellowface. Man, these movies are rough.

You Only Live Twice is a frustrating film because when it's good, it's really good. The main storyline involves SPECTRE trying to interfere in the space race, so Bond fakes his death to stay off the radar, searches for SPECTRE's volcano base in Japan, and meets Blofeld for the very first time. You Only Live Twice is the culmination of everything the series has been building up to, and it shows. Lewis Gilbert, who would later direct Moonraker and TSWLM, was the perfect choice for this movie because he's fantastic at making movies that feel large. From the opening in space, to the many wide shots of Japan, to the attack on the volcano base, Gilbert directs all of these scenes with as much grandiosity as possible to really sell how important this movie is. The action is also great, frequently bombastic and exciting, and always well-shot. What could've been a standard rooftop chase, for example, was turned into one of the series' most iconic setpieces thanks to the decision to shoot it with one long wide shot. YOLT also easily has my favorite depiction of Blofeld. The OHMSS version is great, but Donald Pleasance's iconic performance is brilliantly unnerving and eerie, even to this day. That scene where Blofeld introduces himself and goes ahead with his plan as Bond is forced to watch is one of my favorite scenes in the whole series. At its best, You Only Live Twice feels like an event. It's a climactic, thrilling romp that's never boring and always visually-impressive. However...

If you recall my Roger Moore reviews, I noticed a trend of "Bond travels to ____" movies. These are films that focus around Bond traveling to a foreign country, that would proceed to be depicted as stereotypically as humanly possible. Live And Let Die did the Caribbean, TMWTGG did China, Octopussy did India, but it's You Only Live Twice which started the trend by focusing on Japan. There's a lot I could criticize here, from the stereotypical accents to the bizarre Japanophilia to the typical abundance of sexism, but let's face it, nothing tops Bond putting on yellowface to disguise himself as Japanese. Granted, it's mercifully not as much of the film as I originally thought, but there's still a dreadfully uncomfortable 10-15 minutes with Bond pretending to be a British person's version of an Asian. The frustrating thing is that Bond's disguise doesn't add anything to the movie, it would be almost exactly the same had he not disguised himself. It makes me so mad that Eon decided to throw in such a stupid bit of racism here that only detracts from what's otherwise a really fun and energetic movie.

Overall, You Only Live Twice is like the Return Of The Jedi of Bond. It's a climactic entry that nails everything it needs to, but the stuff it doesn't nail seriously drags down the film. So much of YOLT is great, from Blofeld's debut, to the thrilling action, to the tight pacing, to the awe-inspiring direction. However, the decision to have Bond wear yellowface is yet another disappointing bit of racism that really holds the film back from being a personal favorite. Goddamn it, Eon.

3.5/5 Stars

Diamonds Are Forever: Well, we're finally at the end of this marathon and quite frankly what a lame way to end it. Despite being "the last Connery film" Diamonds Are Forever is an interesting installment in the Bond series for a number of reasons. For starters, it came right after OHMSS, which at the time faced backlash for its many differences to the previous movies. Second is it's the first of three films in a row that Guy Hamilton, director of Goldfinger, would direct. What are the other two films? Live And Let Die and The Man With The Golden Gun. Joy...

Okay, so just remember the ending of On Her Majesty's Secret Service for a second. Blofeld had just killed Bond's wife, leaving the spy utterly broken. Diamonds Are Forever starts, and the first thing you see is Bond running around beating up a bunch of guys in a furied search for Blofeld. You think, "Oh, shit, Bond's getting revenge for what happened to Tracy!". But as the opening goes on, something starts to seem off. Tracy isn't mentioned at all, Bond doesn't seem particularly broken up, and most shocking of all, Bond flirts with another woman. That doesn't seem like a man who's mourning the death of the wife, and that's because it's not. Despite the Bond series having had a light continuity up to this point, Diamonds Are Forever starts off by misleading the viewer into thinking it was paying off OHMSS only to toss that movie's plot points completely out the window. But that isn't the only thing wrong with the opening, the whole thing feels off. Connery's acting feels especially tired and bored, the editing is choppy and unusual, the tone wildly fluctuates between bizarre gags and some truly dark death scenes, and the pacing moves a mile a minute. And keep in mind, this was just the opening.

So yeah, Diamonds Are Forever is really bad. I'd easily call it the most incompetently made Bond movie. The plot is a mess, trying to force Blofeld into a plot about a diamond smuggler by having his plan be to use diamonds to create a space weapon. The tone is a mess, jumping between sincere and comedic pretty much every scene. Every time you think the film is getting serious, it's immediately undercut. Every time you think it's setting up for a comedic gag, it sudden erupts into a genuinely serious sequence, only to veer right back into comedy at the very end. Diamonds Are Forever goes for a "everything but the kitchen sink" approach, each scene feels like it's from a different film and it leaves DAF feeling incredibly disjointed (the Blofeld clones was where it really lost me). It also doesn't help that the editing is a jarring mess, never guiding you from scene to scene, which causes the pacing to feel like it's on crack for the whole movie. Between scenes like the Blofeld clones, Bambi & Thumper, Bond talking to a rat, and Blofeld in drag (because haha man in dress funny right?), this feels like a series of parody sketches rather than an actual Bond film, maybe even more than the already horribly parodical TMWTGG. 

Connery's acting, as strange as this sounds, is a mess. You can tell he's tired with the role, so he only puts in effort sparingly. And, of course, don't get me started on the typical Connery racism and sexism. I already mentioned the black person that turns into a gorilla, and the fact that the henchmen are gay leads to a decent chunk of homophobia, but the treatment of the female characters here is especially bad. Every female character is a buffoon who usually ends up in a pretty awful position by the end of the film. The bizarre thing is that every once in a while, Diamonds Are Forever pulls out a genuinely good scene that leads you to think that maybe, just maybe, you're watching a good movie. The theme song from Shirley Bassey is fantastic and dare I'd say better than that of Goldfinger, the elevator fight is genuinely brutal and tense, the car chase is a ton of fun, Plenty O'Toole was a pretty fun character before getting literally thrown out the window, and henchmen Mr Wint and Mr Kidd are actually really great. I can at least say that, with all of its incompetence, I enjoyed Diamonds Are Forever more than I did The Man With The Golden Gun. But don't get me wrong, those scenes are in the minority.

Diamonds Are Forever is down there with Die Another Day as the closest thing Bond had to a "So Bad, It's Good" film. It's so incompetently made, so obsessed with making a joke out of itself, so poorly paced and edited, that I can't look away. It's like a dumpster fire. What an awful way to end Connery's time as Bond, and what an awful way to end my marathon.

1/5 Stars

 

Here's how I'd rank the Sean Connery movies:

1. Goldfinger
2. From Russia With Love
3. You Only Live Twice
4. Dr No
5. Thunderball
6. Diamonds Are Forever

All that's left is for me to rank everything in the final post of this marathon.

Reviewing Every James Bond Movie: Moore Era

I really enjoy the James Bond series and have seen plenty of its films, but I've never ended up going through all of them. I could just fill in the blanks whenever one pops up on a streaming service, but I've always do a full marathon, see all the movies one after the other. And with Amazon Prime getting all of the Bond films for a "limited time", I thought this was as good a time as any to go through the series once and for all. 

There is one issue, however. Spectre, one of the last Bond films, is leaving Prime in like a week. So I decided to give this marathon a bit of a twist. I'm going to watch the James Bond movies in reverse actor order, meaning I'm going to start with the Craig movies, then watch the Brosnan films, and keep going until I end with Connery. So Spectre will be one of the first movies I watch, and I won't have to cram 23 movies into like 9 days. Let's continue things with the Roger Moore era:

Since I've watched plenty of these movies already, I wanted to mark the ones that I'm rewatching rather than going into blind. To keep things simple, if you see the (R) symbol next to a movie, that means that I've seen it before and that this is a rewatch.

Live Or Let Die: While Moore is generally regarded as the goofy, campy Bond, I'd only seen The Spy Who Loved Me and For Your Eyes Only before this marathon, which are also his most grounded movies. I was not prepared for how crazy Live Or Let Die would get, and I was especially not prepared for the fact that it's not even in the Top 3 craziest Bond movies.

Live And Let Die starts off with a pretty interesting hook. Three British agents have been killed, Bond needs to figure out who did it while also making sure not to be killed himself. LALD is at its best whenever it's focused on how in danger Bond is, and it leads to some pretty suspenseful sequences, particularly whenever the genuinely great henchman Tee-Hee is involved. Unfortunately, this doesn't happen nearly enough, as much of Live And Let Die is actually pretty light-hearted. This is partially because the goal of the villain, Dr Kananga, is actually a drug scheme rather than some malicious plot against agents. LALD really just slowly spirals out of control as it goes on, starting off as a fairly grounded Harlem-bound thriller and escalating into a movie with honest-to-goodness voodoo and magical elements. I don't think I need to tell you that a Bond movie having magic in it completely destroys my sense of disbelief and seriously drags down the film. Honestly, the only thing I really thoroughly enjoyed in Live And Let Die was the genuinely great action. Most of Moore's films, no matter how bad, tend to have some pretty fantastic stuntwork-centric action scenes. In this movie specifically, the highlight is definitely that lengthy boat chase (albeit lengthy because those irritating cutaways to Sheriff Pepper), along with that subtly impressive crocodile hop. Unfortunately, not even the best action scenes can save Live And Let Die at its absolute worst.

From what I can tell, Live And Let Die was inspired by the blaxploitation genre, a subgenre of film that was popular in the 70s which were basically exploitation (as in gory, crass action) films starring African-Americans. It was a pretty controversial genre at the time, with some finding that it perpetuated stereotypes and others liking that it allowed for black protagonists and action heroes. However, considering that Live And Let Die is still a James Bond movie above all else, it pretty much solely has the former element. Live And Let Die is a really racist film, with much of its largely black cast coming across as stereotypes, the implication that all black people know each other and are part of some intricate conspiracy, lots of casual racism on the part of Bond himself, and of course, the aforementioned voodoo elements coming across as very stereotypical. But wait, Live And Let Die isn't just racist. It's sexist too! Midway through the film, Bond forces the Bond girl to sleep with him and lose her virginity, and to think this is only the second most reprehensible rape Bond did in the whole series. Once again, I've only seen the grounded Moore films, so it's surprising to see just how skeevy his Bond portrayal is in this one.

Overall, Live And Let Die has its moments, particularly in the stunt-heavy action scenes and the brief flirts with suspense, but the wasted potential, suspension-of-disbelief-shattering magic elements, and especially the awful racism and sexism makes for one of the worst Bond movies I've seen so far. Also Sheriff Pepper can suck it, worst side character ever.

1.5/5 Stars

The Man With The Golden Gun: The Man With The Golden Gun is the definition of wasted potential. It had what is probably the coolest concept for a Bond film: James Bond vs the world's greatest assassin. Who wouldn't want to see them face off? This could've been a lean, focused Bond film entirely centered around the dynamic between Bond and his villain... unfortunately, what we got was a mess.

As mentioned above, TMWTGG is about Bond facing off against the world's greatest assassin, Scaramanga. That's a really cool concept, and Christopher Lee's performance as the character is genuinely really good. He's intimidating and calculated, and while I wish he got more screentime, you can tell Lee is giving his all in every scene he's in. Unfortunately, what stops Scaramanga from being one of the all-time Bond villains is that him being a super assassin with a insta-kill golden gun isn't enough, he had to have a second gimmick: A third nipple. Scaramanga having a third nipple reminds me a lot of Christmas Jones. It adds nothing to the movie, only leading to a bunch of unfunny gags and gross close-ups of said nipple, and it feels like the writers didn't trust the audience to handle a more serious villain (similarly they gave him a weird solar power-related plan when he could've just been after Bond). Scaramanga could have been this super terrifying antagonist that never gives Bond a moment to breathe, but the nipple turns the character into a relative joke. That's not just an issue with the villain though, TMWTGG turns pretty much everything into a joke to the point where you can't take anything seriously. The film is bloated with weird gags and tangents to keep the viewer's attention that leave the film feeling confusing, when all it needed to do was tell a tight story about two assassins. This issue is at its most apparent (and worst) during the movie's infamous slide whistle scene. At one point, Bond has to do a corkscrew jump with a car, which was actually done in real-life. This is an incredibly impressive stunt, probably one of the most impressive in all of film... but it's watered-down by a slide whistle sound effect straight-out of America's Funniest Home Videos. Once again, this is one of the most impressive stunts in any movie ever, and it was turned into a joke. This single scene epitomizes everything wrong with The Man With The Golden Gun.

It gets worse, though. Oh, does it get worse. The henchman, Nick Nack, is a dwarf and was also pretty much turned into a joke. I think there was a lot of potential for Nick Nack to be this mastermind-type character, someone who doesn't fight for obvious reasons but can be the brains of an operation. Unfortunately, the final battle has Nick Nack actually try to fight Bond head on, and he's swiftly defeated in one of the most "comedic" and stakes-less fight scenes I've ever seen. Speaking of "comedy", TMWTGG brings back Sheriff Pepper, and he's even more annoying than he was in the last film. Seriously, this doesn't even feel like a Bond film, it's like a parody, a bad Austin Powers movie. Then again, not even an Austin Powers movie would be this sexist. Yeah, TMWTGG doesn't improve on the problematic elements of its predecessor. Similarly to Live And Let Die, this movie goes for a lot of easy stereotypes, though this time with Asians. But even worse is its treatment of the female characters. The Bond girl, Mary Goodnight, is supposed to be a CIA agent, but in reality, she's the token Dumb Blonde trope who screws everything up. Even more, she literally only wears skimpy clothing, so it's more obvious than ever that her only purpose is to be sexualized. Then there's Andrea Anders, Scaramanga's sex slave who Bond proceeds to beat upon first meeting her. Bond's skeevy characterization hasn't changed here, if anything he's even worse. He flirts with and seduces every single woman he comes across, and even when he's not doing that, he's kind of a jerk. One scene has him push a kid off a boat, which even Moore himself thought was too cruel. I get that the film wants to explore Bond's darker side to parallel him with Scaramanga, but the fact that the movie maintains a lighthearted and comedic tone throughout and doesn't actually do anything with these themes (a common trend in Bond, I see) makes his characterization feel inconsistent and confused instead.

The Man With The Golden Gun may just be the worst film in the series. Aside from Christopher Lee's too-good-for-this-movie performance, TMWTGG was an overlong and kinda incomprehensible waste of a perfectly good premise, with unfunny gags that mitigated any of its attempted seriousness, and some of the worst sexism in the franchise.

1/5 Stars

The Spy Who Loved Me (R): When I first watched The Spy Who Loved Me, I thought that, despite its status as the "best Moore film", it was nothing special. However, at that point, I had only watched the really beloved Bond films like Goldfinger, Goldeneye, and Casino Royale, so no wonder. Now that I'm watching the Moore films in order, holy shit is this a breath of fresh air! I still have my gripes, but The Spy Who Loved Me is a rare bright spot in a dire lineup of movies. It's fun, entertaining, unproblematic, and, to put a simply, a genuinely great action film.

The Spy Who Loved Me involves Bond having to team up with a KGB Agent named Anya Amasova to track down two stolen submarines and retrieve them before they're used to start a nuclear war. If this sounds a bit familiar, that's because it is, Tomorrow Never Dies has a very similar premise. Personally, I think the villain's plot in Tomorrow Never Dies is a bit more realistic (and prescient), but TSWLM does a much better job of fleshing out the relationship between Bond and his unlikely ally. This is an easy pick for one of the most romantic Bond films, and the burgeoning romance between Bond and Anya crossed with the tension of whether or not one will backstab the other is just incredibly juicy and fun. As far as the villains go though, Stromberg is fine. He's not super memorable, but I like that the movie sticks with the fact that he's not much of a fighter. He spends almost the entire film sitting down, and even his final battle with Bond feels more like a battle of wits. The henchman Jaws, on the other hand, is a truly iconic foe, quite possibly the best henchman in the whole franchise. He's intimidating, memorable, and shares some phenomenal fights with Bond.

As far as Bond movies go, The Spy Who Loved Me is still fairly light-hearted, but unlike its two predecessors, it still takes itself seriously enough for me to care about what's going on within it. It also helps that the jokes land a lot better, Bond's characterization is way less sleazy, and the racial stereotypes are dramatically toned down. But above all, what really makes TSWLM work as a light-hearted Bond film is that it's just effortlessly fun. It's a soaring, globetrotting adventure filled to the brim with action and spectacle, and it feels like the people working on it just want the viewer to have a good time. The action scenes are easily some of Moore's best too, ranging from the awe-inspiring ski jump stunt (another one of the series' most impressive), to the brutal train fight with Jaws, to the iconic submarine car chases, to that bombastic final showdown in the secret base. So all of this sounds great, and it is, but while I definitely love TSWLM a lot more now, my biggest gripe with the movie still remains: Bond has it too easy. Outside of a few moments, my biggest problem with The Spy Who Loved Me is the fact that it doesn't feel like Bond is struggling at all here. He approaches every situation with a knowing wink, and it rarely ever feels like he's actually in danger (the only exception being that bomb defusal scene). If you like seeing James Bond as this unstoppable super spy, then this won't be a problem for you, but for me, the fact that this feels like just another day for Bond means that the stakes are a lot lower than I think they should be.

Overall, while probably a bit too breezy for my tastes, The Spy Who Loved Me isn't just one of Moore's best Bond films, it's a great Bond film period. It's a fun riproaring adventure filled with death-defying stunts, great action, compelling romance, fun villains, and Moore's most confident performance as Bond to date.

4/5 Stars

Moonraker: Given my opinions on the Moore films so far, it's easy to think that I would hate Moonraker. One of the most mocked Bond films of all time, Moonraker is infamous for sending Bond to space in an obvious attempt to cash in on Star Wars. It's goofy, ridiculous, and very weird, so I'd obviously despise it right? Honestly, not really. While very flawed, I actually enjoyed Moonraker a decent amount. This is how you make a goofy Bond movie, you lean into that ridiculousness and play it with as much sincerity as you possibly can.

Plot-wise, Moonraker is literally just The Spy Who Loved Me but in space. The villain steals a space shuttle and plans to use it to destroy the world, Bond has to track it down and eventually goes up to space to stop the villain's plans. It's very much an excuse plot, but you know what? It works for me. Drax manages to stand out on his own as a villain compared to Stromberg for how cruel he is, the globe-trotting feel is still intact, and Moore's performance as Bond is genuinely really great here. I know that a lot of people hate the space stuff, but I actually think it's executed surprisingly well. I like how Bond going to space is saved for the third act, letting the film slowly build up the insanity and end on a high note. I also like how Moonraker treats a lot of its more weird elements with a bit of seriousness and sincerity. Moore does't wink at the audience as much, he just goes to space without question. It feels like the filmmakers are fully committing to their premise, no matter how weird, and it shows in just how great the production is. 

Moonraker is, hands down, the best-looking Moore film of the bunch. Lewis Gilbert is a master at making Bond movies that feel big and grand, but it's especially apparent in Moonraker. The cinematography is beautiful, the lighting is moody, and best of all, the set design is impeccable. I probably wouldn't have been as kind to Bond going to space if Ken Adams' set design for the space station wasn't so great. This applies to the action too. Continuing the trend of killer Moore stunts, the opening has Bond stealing someone else's parachute in freefall, starting off the film with a bang. But even after that, action scenes like the gondola chase, tram fight, and climactic space battle are fun and inventive, if a bit ridiculous. Even more, I adore John Barry's score here, it's soaring, romantic, and really heightens the film's tone. On a production level, Moonraker is an absolute success.

However, even though I enjoyed Moonraker, that doesn't mean it doesn't have its issues. This is still a very flawed film, though not for the reasons you might be expecting. See, I like Moonraker because of how much it commits to its premise and setpieces without winking at the audience, which is why it sucks whenever they do implement a corny and usually unfunny cutaway gag that only makes the scene less effective. Stuff like the doubletaking pigeon, Jaws falling into a circus tent, and... well, to be honest, most of Jaws' screentime. Jaws is as fun as ever here, but they do make a lot of jokes at his expense which lead to him coming off as less intimidating (though I do like his changing sides, that was kinda fun). I'm also not a huge fan of the Bond girl here, Dr Goodhead (god, do I hate these names). I originally liked the idea of her being a scientist, but then it turns out she's a CIA agent, essentially a clone of Anya from the previous movie. Even more, compared to Anya, Goodhead just doesn't have any chemistry with Bond. Finally, I think Moonraker can be a bit slow at points. I get that's purposefully meant to be a slow burn, and I do think that approach works for building up to the space stuff, but you can tell the film was padded out at points since there were plenty of scenes where characters are just... not doing anything.

Overall, Moonraker is nowhere near being one of the best Bond films, but you know what? I liked it. With a recycled script and a cheap premise, this really could've felt like a cashgrab, yet it feels like the crew put a lot of effort here and it shows. Moore is at his best as Bond, the villain is great, the third act takes itself just seriously enough to be a lot of fun, and the production as a whole is stellar. While dragged down by tonal and pacing issues, I thoroughly enjoyed Moonraker more than a decent chunk of the other Bond films, and I think that counts for something.

3/5 Stars

For Your Eyes Only (R): I loved For Your Eyes Only when I first saw it and I love it just as much now. It's easily the best Moore film by a county mile, and it baffles me that it's not held up as one of the finest films in the series. It's grounded, gripping, and boasts some of the best action sequences in all of Bond.

For Your Eyes Only boasts a simple plot to many of Moore's Bond films. The villain stole a MacGuffin (this time a missile command system), and Bond once again has to go and retrieve it. Nothing new there, and the villain in question Kristatos isn't anything super special. However, what really elevates For Your Eyes Only's plot is the Bond girl Melina, who gets a surprisingly large role for a Bond girl. Kristatos killed Melina's family, so she spends the film trying to get revenge on them. Her character arc about learning to not fall into the cycle of revenge is genuinely well-done, and I'd argue that she's probably the central character of the film. Not to say that Bond isn't also a highlight here, because another thing I like about FYEO is that it finally goes back to the more grounded portrayal of Bond. Moore gives an impressively cold and detached performance of their character, making for what is easily his best role out of them all. Bond casually pushing a car with a baddie in it off a cliff is just a perfect encapsulation of what I love about the character.

As a whole, For Your Eyes Only is darker and more realistic than most of the other Moore films. While there are still a fair share of jokes and goofy moments, they never overwhelm the film or mess up the tone. As fun as TSWLM and Moonraker were, it's nice to finally see a Bond movie that feels more gritty and grounded. In addition, the action scenes are genuinely fantastic, easily some of my favorite in the series. There's the fun car chase through Italy, the lengthy and dynamic ski/bobsled chase down a mountain, and the shootout at one of Kristatos' bases that culminates in the aforementioned car-kicking scene. Despite FYEO being more realistic, the action scenes feel more dynamic, well-choreographed, and gripping than ever before. And that's not even mentioning the nail-biting cliff sequence near the end of the film, one of my favorite Bond setpieces and a masterclass in building tension. I'm on the edge of my seat anytime I watch it. Honestly, my only gripe with the action is with the opening sequence, which had to give Blofeld a hasty sendoff since the rights to the character got sold. Look, I get that Eon was in a tough spot here and didn't have many options, but Blofeld's death in the opening just feels incredibly lame and anticlimactic considering how important of a villain he is.

Overall, For Your Eyes Only isn't anything super special in terms of its plot, but it will always be one of my favorite Bond movies regardless. Moore's detached performance is easily his best yet, the more grounded tone is a breath of fresh air, Melina's character arc is genuinely really well-done, and the action scenes are some of the best in the franchise.

4.5/5 Stars

Octopussy: Look, I get that James Bond is a very innuendo-laden series, but Octopussy? Really? You could do better than that. Name aside, Octopussy was just kind of boring. It's not bad, and actually has some elements I really liked, but generally, I found it to be a bit of a drag.

Okay, so let me try to explain Octopussy's story because it's very convoluted. So an agent gets assassinated with a counterfeit Fabergè egg, so Bond travels to India to find who stole it. He then discovers the thief is allied with a Russian general who plans to use a nuclear weapon to win the Cold War, and of course has to stop it. Bond storylines are usually a bit ridiculous, but Octopussy feels like it's two different stories at the same time, the egg and the nuclear weapon, and neither really feel convincingly connected. It's not just the plot that's confused, the tone feels all over the place in Octopussy. Half of the time, it feels like a fairly grounded Cold War plot ala FYEO, and the other time, it's easily one of the goofiest movies in the series. From Bond doing a Tarzan yell, to pretty much everything involved the circus, to all the goofy gags in the rickshaw chase, Octopussy once again suffers from whiplash because it can't just pick a damn tone. And of course, I think it goes without mentioning that I'm not a fan of the series returning to the "Bond travels to ____" structure from the first two Moore films, because with that comes many racial stereotypes. Octopussy depicts a very caricatured version of India, one that brings to mind the similarly racist Temple Of Doom. But at least that movie (aside from just flat-out being a better film) focused on a cult separate from the rest of India, while Octopussy is explicitly depicting India as a whole.

But hey, I did say that Octopussy had its good elements, so let's talk about them. For starters, I really like the titular Bond girl, once again name aside. She might actually be one of my favorite Bond girls, possibly even a Top 3 candidate. I have a soft-spot for the Bond girls that are initially allied with the antagonists and change sides, so Octopussy already fits that niche. I also like that they brought back Maud Adams considering how horrible her character in TMWTGG was treated. But what I especially like is her age. At this point, it's gotten really apparent that Roger Moore is starting to age out of the role, so the decision to pair him with a slightly older-than-usual Bond girl was a great call that allows for a more mature dynamic that really works for this movie. This is important because the crew would proceed to not do that in the next film. I also really liked the action scenes in Octopussy. While they're slightly bogged down by the usual Moore era cutaway gags, they're still really inventive and impressive on a visual level. There's Bond avoiding a homing missile, a rickshaw chase, a fight scene atop hot coals, a lengthy car chase/fist fight/shootout sequence involving a train, Bond disabling a nuclear bomb in a clown costume (which works surprisingly well in context and is genuinely tense), and saving the best for last, Bond fighting someone while clinging onto a plane. Sure, some of these action sequences are a bit outrageous, but like in Moonraker, it's hard not to get too mad when they're this creative and fun. I also think Octopussy just flat-out gets better in its final third. The train/circus sequence in particular is genuinely one of the best stretches of action in the entire series, and left me wondering just how good this movie could've been if it focused more on the Russian plot rather than spread itself this thin.

As it is now, however, Octopussy is mostly a pretty average movie, with a convoluted plot, uneven tone, and some uncomfortable stereotypes. However, the Bond girl, action sequences, and final third are good enough that I still enjoyed myself and would rank it over the first two Moore films.

Update: I've actually started to really warm up to Octopussy over time? I mean, the stereotypical stuff is still a problem, but it's a pretty fun adventure film overall where the high points shine far more brightly. It's consistently entertaining, never boring, takes itself just seriously enough to still be genuinely be engrossing, and has some of the best action in the franchise. It's very much a flawed gem, I think the Temple of Doom comparison was particularly apt, but I'd easily put it up there with Tomorrow Never Dies as one of the most underrated Bond films.

3/5 Stars

A View To A Kill: With the recent reveal of the trailer for the new Super Mario Bros movie, there's been a question that I've been thinking about as of late: Will a bad lead character tank an otherwise great film?  If A View To A Kill is any indication, it's definitely a possibility.

A View To A Kill does a lot right. Coming off the convoluted heels of Octopussy, Bond trying to stop the owner of a microchip company from destroying Silicon Valley to start a monopoly is mercifully simple, even if it's admittedly a bit ridiculous (no, that's not how Silicon Valley works, you idiots). Like many Roger Moore films, A View To A Kill feels like a large globe-trotting film, maybe even the most considering the film makes a point of holding many of its biggest setpieces in a different country. Speaking of which, there's definitely a fair share of typically well-staged action scenes, ranging from a ski chase through Siberia, to a half-car chase through Paris, to a awesome sequence involving a firetruck, to a very climactic final battle on the Golden Gate Bridge. But I think what really sticks out about A View To The Kill are the antagonists, Max Zorin and May Day, played by Christopher Walken and Grace Jones respectively. If you know anything about these two actors, it should be very obvious why this is such a fun villainous duo to watch. Walken has one of the most iconically hammy acting styles out of anyone out there, and Jones is an LGBT and camp icon, and it shows in just how much fun they both seem to be having in their roles. Any scene with Zorin and May Day in it is a joy to watch solely because of their actors.

So A View To A Kill has a simple but effective plot, solid action, and fantastic villains, but the film has one pretty glaring flaw: Bond himself. See, as I hinted at in my Octopussy review, Moore was starting to age out of the role. This isn't inherently a death knell for the actor's time as Bond though, the crew totally could've came up with a movie that dealt with Bond grappling with his age. Skyfall did that, and it was fantastic. Unfortunately, AVTAK is otherwise an entirely standard Bond film, which makes Moore's age stick out like a sort thumb. On an acting level, Moore feels tired, and you can tell he's not able to put as much into the action scenes. While I stand by my statement that AWTAK's setpieces are well-staged, a decent number of them are dragged down by the fact that Moore is visibly struggling to pull some of them off. But even worse is the fact that, just like in any other entry in the series, Moore is still hitting on girls, having sex with people, and getting a love interest. Unlike in Octopussy, where Maud Adams was noticeably older than your standard Bond girl, Bond flirts with and has sex with people way younger than him. The age gap is apparent and immensely uncomfortable. And all this leaves me a bit mixed on A View To A Kill, because it really does have its good moments. If Bond had been recast or the film made when Moore was a bit younger, I genuinely think it would be a solid, though still unremarkable, entry in the series. But as it is now, Bond is a focal point, who's in a lot of the action scenes, and gets a love interest nearly 30 years younger than him. It's hard not to just ignore his age here.

Overall, A View To A Kill is rough. There's a good film in here, with solid action, a solid plot, and some of the best villains in the series. However, it's hard not to look past the fact that Roger Moore is way too old to just be doing what he's been doing for the past six movies. Whenever Walken and Jones are on screen, AVTAK is a blast. Whenever Moore is on screen, it's a bore at best and a very uncomfortable watch at worst.

2/5 Stars 

Here's how I'd rank the Roger Moore movies:

1. For Your Eyes Only
2. The Spy Who Loved Me
3. Octopussy
   
4. Moonraker
5. A View To A Kill
6. Live And Let Die
7. The Man With The Golden Gun

See you next time when I review the final batch of Bond movies, the ones with Sean Connery...

Reviewing Every James Bond Movie: The Underdogs

I really enjoy the James Bond series and have seen plenty of its films, but I've never ended up going through all of them. I could just fill in the blanks whenever one pops up on a streaming service, but I've always do a full marathon, see all the movies one after the other. And with Amazon Prime getting all of the Bond films for a "limited time", I thought this was as good a time as any to go through the series once and for all. 

There is one issue, however. Spectre, one of the last Bond films, is leaving Prime in like a week. So I decided to give this marathon a bit of a twist. I'm going to watch the James Bond movies in reverse actor order, meaning I'm going to start with the Craig movies, then watch the Brosnan films, and keep going until I end with Connery. So Spectre will be one of the first movies I watch, and I won't have to cram 23 movies into like 9 days. Let's continue things with the underdogs of the series, Timothy Dalton and George Lazenby:

Since I've watched plenty of these movies already, I wanted to mark the ones that I'm rewatching rather than going into blind. To keep things simple, if you see the (R) symbol next to a movie, that means that I've seen it before and that this is a rewatch.

On Her Majesty's Secret Service: It probably may have made more sense to group OHMSS in with the other Connery films, but I didn't want to devote an entire blogpost to Dalton's mere two movies, so here we are, jumping all the way back to the 60s. On Her Majesty's Secret Service is a pretty divisive film for being the first Bond movie to replace Sean Connery with another actor, George Lazenby, and seeing as he only starred in this one film, it's easy to figure out that the change wasn't very well-received at the time. And that's a shame, because this is one of the best films in the series.

On Her Majesty's Secret Service is quite simply about James Bond hunting down Blofeld to stop his plan to... just a second... use brainwashed woman to threaten all of the plants and livestock in the world. Yeah, kind of a stupid plan, but it's everything around that plan that's great. OHMSS has a similar structure to Goldfinger where Bond spends a long time in the antagonist's lair and slowly uncovers their plan, and it works just as well. OHMSS is actually a pretty slow film, it's nearly two and a half hours long and we don't get our first large-scale action scene until the final hour, yet it does a fantastic job of building up tension. The 40-ish minutes we spend in Piz Gloria especially is tense and gripping, and I found that the film flew by shockingly fast despite its length. Once Blofeld goes full antagonist, he serves as a perfect rival to Bond, only helped by Telly Savalas's smooth performance. Something I really liked about OHMSS is how constantly in danger Bond is, it goes a long way to show off just how dangerous being a spy is. Once Bond is found out, he's relentlessly chased by Blofeld and his soldiers, with never a moment to breathe. From Russia With Love also tries to send a similar message, but OHMSS does it better, especially when the Bond girl is concerned. OHMSS's Bond girl is named Tracy, and she's particularly special because Bond ends up falling in love with her. Not in the usual Bond girl way, though, Bond falls fully in love, to the point where they end up getting married. While Tracy isn't around for the whole film, Diana Rigg makes the most of her screentime, and the character has an impressive amount of agency for a 60s Bond girl. She plays into the theme of how dangerous Bond's work in the infamous final scene where Blofeld abruptly shoots her dead right after her wedding with Bond. It's a jaw-dropping moment that I'd even say is more effective than Vesper's death, partially because Tracy is just simply a better character, and partially because the film ends immediately after her death, with no catharsis ever. Unlike in Casino Royale, OHMSS left me stunned as the credits rolled.

But as much as I love the story in On My Majesty's Secret Service, what really elevates the film is the all-around phenomenal production. It feels like everyone working on the movie is at the top of their game, from the acting, to the directing, to the score. As far as acting goes, I already praised Diana Rigg and Telly Savalas's performances, but how is Lazenby? Personally, I think he's fine. Definitely the weakest Bond in terms of acting, but he's nowhere near as bad as I've heard. Honestly, my issue with the guy is the fact that he looks too much like Sean Connery. All the other Bond actors have drastically different appearances, but here, it feels like the crew tried to get as close a lookalike as they could, which led to a bit of an uncanny valley feel. But in terms of acting, Lazenby's perfectly fine. He's great in the action scenes, but I think his greatest strength is his vulnerability. OHMSS is about an emotional James Bond. A James Bond that falls in love, that fights with M and resigns in a fit of rage, that breaks down into tears. Connery wouldn't be able to pull that off, but Lazenby's Bond is believably emotional. And in that heartbreaking final scene, the son of a gun absolutely kills it. Outside of the acting, Peter Hunt's direction is remarkable. It's hard to believe this movie is from the 60s with how striking and beautiful the cinematography is. To this day, this is the best looking Bond film outside of the obvious Skyfall (which, if anything, makes it look even more impressive than Skyfall). The lighting is consistently dynamic and expressive, the set design is polished as hell, and every scene feels grand. The action is fantastic too. As mentioned earlier, there isn't much at first, but the final hour is nonstop action scenes and they're all phenomenal. While the editing can be a bit chaotic at times, it's always clear what's going on, and if anything, it makes the already brutal and destructive fight scenes all the more visceral. And of course, John Barry's score is absolutely killer. 

Overall, On Her Majesty's Secret Service is probably a perfect Bond film. Sure, I could pick at Blofeld's ridiculous plan or Lazenby's inconsistent performance, but there's no point because the film fundamentally works on pretty much every level. The vulnerability added to Bond's character, the fantastic Bond girl and Blofeld interpretation, the masterful buildup and release of tension, the full realization of its themes, the chaotic but thrilling action scenes, the stunning direction and cinematography, the pitch-perfect score, it all makes for a Bond film that is greater than the sum of it's already fantastic parts. OHMSS truly feels like Peter Hunt's vision of what a Bond film could and should be, and it's a vision that I'm fully on-board with.

5/5 Stars

The Living Daylights: Similarly to OHMSS, Dalton's films are also fairly divisive, this time being because they're a bit darker than your standard Bond film. With the Craig films, they probably don't seem to grim nowadays, but after seven straight Roger Moore movies, it lead to a lot of polarization for Bond fans. While not as much of a homerun as Lazenby's first flick, The Living Daylights is yet another criminally underrated Bond film that deserves reappraisal.

The Living Daylights is a fairly straight-forward Cold War spy thriller about James Bond learning that a KGB agent he helped defect ended up staging the whole thing, and in the process of looking into it, proceeds to get involved in a complex opium trade between Russia and America. While not anything amazing, I really like how grounded and espionage-driven this movie is, with a fairly believable villain plan and a larger-than-usual focus on spy agents in general. The Cold War backdrop also feels more prevalent than usual, even if some moments kinda feel like a product of their time. Although, while I like how grounded the villain's plan is, the villains themselves are honestly pretty unremarkable. It's the henchman Necros that truly steals the show, a brutal super spy who gets some of the best action in the movie. Speaking of which, the action in The Living Daylights is great, especially the fight scenes. There's a balletic sort of brutality to the action in The Living Daylights, every beat flows into the other perfectly, and at its best, we get gems like the kitchen fight, the mountain chase, and of course, that phenomenal cargo plane battle. That last fight in particular is so good that the actual final battle struggles to top it. I also pleasantly enjoyed Bond's romantic subplot in The Living Daylights. It helps that Kara Milovy is actually there for a large portion of the film, so you get a decent amount of time to watch Bond and Milovy's relationship develop.

So great, the film is good. Now's the time that I rave about how fantastic Timothy Dalton is in the role of Bond. I was going into these movies with a bit of a preconceived bias towards the actor, since I already loved him in Hot Fuzz and Chuck, but his more serious and no-nonsense portrayal of the character is fantastic. More than with any other Bond actor, with Dalton it really feels like behind his suave demeanor, James Bond is a sad, broken man. Between Dalton, Casino Royale, and OHMSS, I think this sadness is what makes Bond a compelling character. I also think it's worth noting that while Bond is more serious than usual, that doesn't necessarily mean the film itself is this grim, humorless affair. I'd actually say The Living Daylights had some of the most effective jokes in the series, with Bond's priceless reactions to the madness that occurs around him making for some brilliant dry humor. Not to mention Bond goes to an amusement park and spins around in a bumper car, how the hell is that "too serious"? Anyway, my point is that Dalton makes for a fantastic Bond. He's nowhere near as deathly serious as people seem to suggest, yet his generally more cold and hard-edged demeanor actualy gives the character a bit more depth.

I know I just spent half of this segment talking about Dalton's Bond rather than the movie, but trust me, I probably wouldn't have been defending him as hard if the movie wasn't also pretty great. While the villains are overshadowed by the much superior henchman and the third act is uneven, the tight Cold War-centric plot, brutal and hard-hitting action, and Dalton's strong lead performance makes for an incredibly solid if unremarkable Bond film.

3.5/5 Stars

License To Kill: Oh man, this one was so good! License To Kill feels like a predecessor to the Craig films in the best way possible. It's dark and brutal, with a revenge-centric storyline that gives off some serious Quantum Of Solace vibes. It's a different kind of film, but still one that's unmistakably bond, and an easy new favorite.

License To Kill is basically an 80s revenge thriller starring Bond. When a druglord named Franz Sanchez kills Felix Leiter's new wife and destroys his leg, Bond resigns and goes on a rampage to kill him and all of his associates. In theory, it definitely feels like more of a John Wick plot than a James Bond plot, but I love how personal it is. Felix was always a really important and yet underused element of the Bond mythos, so I'm glad we finally got a film that revolved around him. Even more, the parallels between what happened to Felix and what happened with Tracy in OHMSS (who is even mentioned at one point) gives Bond's actions a fascinating and tragic context. As far as the other characters go, I like the villains way more than in The Living Daylights. Necros was already a pretty good henchman but he didn't have too much time to shine. A young Benicio Del Toro's Dario, on the other hand, gets plenty of time to show off his charismatically psychotic persona. Franz Sanchez is one of the more realistic Bond antagonists, but his terrifying nature in spite of that realism makes him all the more memorable. And I really like Pam as the Bond girl, as I'm a huge fan of whenever the female lead is more of an equal to Bond.

What surprised me about License To Kill was just how brutal it is. The torture scenes are crueler than ever, the action is more violent and bloody, and the death scenes have turned into an art form, with each and every one trying to one-up its predecessor in sheer brutality. I'm perfectly fine with this, by the way, these moments of brutality really help to solidify LTK's darker atmosphere and tone. And speaking of brutality, the action is once again pretty fantastic, probably even better than in The Living Daylights. There's a much stronger emphasis on stuntwork in this movie, with plenty of setpieces containing some really impressive feats, particularly involving planes. In the course of a single film, Bond couples two planes together in mid-air, boards another plane whilst water-skiing, and leaps from a plane onto a tanker trunk. It all culminates in a gloriously balls-to-the-walls final chase sequence, easily one of the best third acts in the series. And it's a good thing LTK sticks the ending as well as it does too, because I actually think its biggest issue is that it goes on a bit long. I feel like such a simple revenge plot would warrant a fairly lean runtime, but LTK is 2h10m and it kinda shows near the end.

Overall, while it definitely could've been trimmed a bit in the middle, License To Kill is a fantastic entry in the Bond series and for sure the better of Dalton's two films. Though a bit different from your standard Bond movie, LTK has a gripping and personal revenge story, some great antagonists, and plenty of brutal action with some truly stunning stuntwork.

4/5 Stars

Since there are only three films here and we're now at the rough halfway point of this marathon, I thought I'd rank all of Bond movies I've seen so far:

1. On Her Majesty's Secret Service
2. Casino Royale
3. Tomorrow Never Dies
4. Goldeneye
5. Skyfall
6. License To Kill
7. The Living Daylights
8. No Time To Die
9. The World Is Not Enough
10. Spectre
11. Quantum Of Solace
12. Die Another Day

See you next time when I review the Pierce Brosnan era of Bond.

Reviewing Every James Bond Movie: Brosnan Era

I really enjoy the James Bond series and have seen plenty of its films, but I've never ended up going through all of them. I could just fill in the blanks whenever one pops up on a streaming service, but I've always do a full marathon, see all the movies one after the other. And with Amazon Prime getting all of the Bond films for a "limited time", I thought this was as good a time as any to go through the series once and for all. 

There is one issue, however. Spectre, one of the last Bond films, is leaving Prime in like a week. So I decided to give this marathon a bit of a twist. I'm going to watch the James Bond movies in reverse actor order, meaning I'm going to start with the Craig movies, then watch the Brosnan films, and keep going until I end with Connery. So Spectre will be one of the first movies I watch, and I won't have to cram 23 movies into like 9 days. Let's continue things with the Pierce Brosnan era:

Since I've watched plenty of these movies already, I wanted to mark the ones that I'm rewatching rather than going into blind. To keep things simple, if you see the (R) symbol next to a movie, that means that I've seen it before and that this is a rewatch.

Goldeneye (R): Goldeneye was my first James Bond film so I'll always be a bit partial to it, but even on its own merits, this is a joyous movie. It's 90s action movie bliss, fun from start to finish, and a great introduction to Bond and all of the tropes that come with him. If I were to recommend any movie as a starting point, Goldeneye would be an easy pick.

Goldeneye is kind of a movie of two halves in that the first half is fairly slow and methodical, and the second half is pretty much nonstop action and excitement. Not to say that the first half of Goldeneye is bad, but aside from the usual action-packed opening, there aren't any grand setpieces for about an hour into the movie. Let's talk about that opening though because it's already one of my favorites. The first ten minutes of Goldeneye perfectly introduces Brosnan's version of Bond while throwing in a bunch of impressive stunts and a Sean Bean death for good measure. I adore Brosnan as Bond, regardless of the quality of his movies, I think he fits the character perfectly. He's suave, calculated, and quite frankly just really badass. After the opening, however, Goldeneye moves pretty slowly, focusing mostly on Bond spying on the henchman Onatopp as well as setting up the Bond girl Natalya, both of whom are fine characters though not super remarkable. The first half also tries to introduce a theme about whether or not Bond is relevant now that the Cold War is over. It's a super interesting idea, but unfortunately, Goldeneye kind of just drops the concept the scene after it's brought up. While the Craig films' relentless self-reflection got fairly tiring, at least they tried to explore their themes more thoroughly.

All my complaints stop, however, once Sean Bean's character, Alec Trevelyan, shows up again halfway through the movie, as we learn he is the true antagonist. This was already a great boon to the movie because I love Trevelyan as a villain. He's more of a rival/parallel to Bond than a flat-out supervillain and I think that's awesome, not only does the conflict between them feel personal but Trevelyan serves as an example of what Bond would be like if he went astray. I know Silva would later serve a similar purpose, but he feels too different from Bond for that to really work. Trevelyan is like if Bond looked in a mirror, their similarities are part of the appeal. As you might expect, the point Goldeneye gets its main villain is the point where the movie goes full-throttle and never stops. This movie is back-loaded to the brim with action scenes and setpieces, one after the other, and they're all phenomenal. From the ejection seat, to the shoot-out in the archives, to that godly tank chase, to the fight with Onatopp, Goldeneye's second half is relentless. And it all culminates in one of my favorite third acts ever, with the climactic and striking final battle atop the satellite. If a film can stick the landing well and leave a good taste in my mouth, I'm definitely going to be more willing to look at it fondly.

With a fairly slow start and interesting themes that it refuses to do anything with, Goldeneye probably isn't one of the most best-made films in the series, but it will always be one of my favorites. It's a perfect introduction to Brosnan as Bond and a pure fun action movie with bombastic setpieces, a fantastic set of villains, a thrilling second half, and a healthy dose of 90s excess and cheese.

4.5/5 Stars

Tomorrow Never Dies: People tend to say that Pierce Brosnan only had one good film, and having seen Tomorrow Never Dies, that couldn't be further from the truth. TND may not have excelled at too much, but it nailed pretty much everything, from the plot, to the characters, to the action.

When going through these Bond movies, something I've noticed is that the narrative is rarely a highlight, outside of Casino Royale, of course. Tomorrow Never Dies is an exception, I adore this movie's simple but effective story. The premise is simply that an evil news mogul named Carver destroyed a submarine to provoke war between the UK and China, so now Bond and a Chinese agent named Wai Lin have to team up to disprove and stop him before all-out war. Everything in Tomorrow Never Dies's story works. The premise is established early on, and we're given a ticking time limit of 48 hours before war starts, imbuing TND with a lot of tension right from the get-go. Wai Lin is a fantastic Bond girl, not just because Michelle Yeoh is a great actress, but because of her fun banter with Bond and large amounts of agency. But what really makes TND's plot work is the villain, Carver, himself. On his own merits, he's a very fun antagonist, played to hammy perfection by Jonathan Pryce. But what really elevates him to one of my favorites to date is just how shockingly real and prescient he is. A news mogul who incites a full-on war may have seemed a bit goofy in the 90s, but with the rise of the internet and the increased political polarization that's resulted from it, TND has never felt more relevant. Now more than ever, news companies have realized that their words have an impact and can shape the public perception of an issue, whether it's through bias or misinformation. So even with how hammy Pryce is as Carver, he's also incredibly terrifying.

Another thing Tomorrow Never Dies nails is the pacing and the action. Similarly to Quantum Of Solace, of all movies, TND is under two hours and pretty crammed with action. Unlike QoS, however, the movie feels purposefully tight, rather than rushed, and all of the action scenes are spaced out as to not overwhelm you. Also unlike QoS, the action is actually really goddamn good. From the opening where Bond fires an ejection seat into another plane, to the paper factory chase, to one of the most inventive car chases I've seen in a long time, to the handcuffed motorcycle chase, to the carnage-filled finale. Michelle Yeoh even gets a fight scene to herself and it's as fun and well-choreographed as you might expect. Aside from some predictably iffy CGI, the action in Tomorrow Never Dies is tight, bombastic, and wonderfully practical. Honestly, I really don't have many gripes with Tomorrow Never Dies. The only thing I could really criticize would be that the third act was a bit over-indulgent with the explosives, but even then, the final battle with Stamper was tense enough to make up for all of the bombast.

I'm kind of in shock considering my unadulterated love for Goldeneye, but honestly, Tomorrow Never Dies is kind of a better movie? It's tighter paced, the story is more focused, the villain's plan is shockingly relevant today, the Bond girl is one of the series' best, and the action is fantastic from start to finish. It doesn't reach the highs of Goldeneye but it's a more consistently strong movie throughout, and I honestly can't understand why anyone would hate it.

4.5/5 Stars

The World Is Not Enough: The World Is Not Enough is Brosnan's Spectre. It's a movie with all of the makings of a great Bond film, only to be dragged down considerably by a fatal flaw. TWINE doesn't quite top the ridiculous retconning of Spectre in terms of pure stupidity, but it comes really close at points.

The World Is Not Enough has a very promising premise. MI-6 is blown up in the crossfire of an assassination attempt, so now Bond has to stop the assassin from killing the victim's daughter, Elektra King, who unbeknowest to him, was the assassin all along. There's a lot of potential in this storyline, from the personal stakes that result from MI-6 getting blown up, to the fantastic twist that plays around with your expectations of the Bond formula. And when TWINE focuses on Bond and Elektra, it's fantastic. Brosnan gives a more rage-filled performance as Bond that fits the film's attempted tone perfectly, and Sophie Marceau as Elektra masterfully toes the line between Bond girl and Bond villain, making the twist feel believable. The first hour of TWINE is almost entirely focused on Bond and Elektra, and while there are some great moments later on (M getting involved in the plot, everything about Elektra), it's probably the high point of the movie. However, even it has its issues. The action overall is a huge step down from Goldeneye and especially Tomorrow Never Dies. It feels way more sluggish and generic, and even the fairly well-liked opening boat chase felt like it dragged on. I also felt that, since TWINE was initially trying at a more serious tone, goofy moments like Bond playing with his X-Ray Glasses felt a bit out of place. But a few weak jokes and mediocre action isn't enough to truly ruin the film. TWINE's problems go even deeper than that.

The ultimate problem with The World Is Not Enough is that it doesn't commit to its premise. Elektra playing double-duty as both Bond girl and Bond villain doesn't have the same impact because TWINE also has another Bond girl and another Bond villain, and neither of them are very good. Christmas Jones is the obvious low point here, an easy contender for worst Bond girl because she actively makes the film worse whenever she's in it. Denise Richards is already horribly cast as the character, her acting is really lousy and she lacks any chemistry with Brosnan, but what's even worse is that whenever she's on screen, the writing quality plummets. Maybe it's just her delivery, but her dialogue feels clunkier than everyone else's, and all the cheeky "Christmas" one-liners only elicited groans. The second Bond villain, Renard, isn't as bad because you kinda needed a decoy antagonist for the twist to work. But the problem is Renard isn't a decoy, he's on equal footing with Elektra even after the reveal, and he's the one Bond has the final battle with. He's not even a fun character at least, he just comes off as sniveling and uncharismatic (and he can not pull off that turtleneck). What really feels insulting about these two characters is the fact that it feels like the writers wanted to have their cake and eat it too. They wanted to give off the impression that TWINE is something new, but didn't have the confidence to go whole-hog and ultimately fell back into old habits. 

Overall, The World Is Not Enough is probably going to end up being the Bond film that sticks with me the least. I really liked the Bond and Elektra stuff, there was potential here for one of the best films in the series, but with some unnecessary characters that drag the movie down, some weak action, an inconsistent tone, and a feeling that the crew is falling back into old habits, TWINE just comes off as middling.

2.5/5 Stars

Die Another Day: People tend to say that the Brosnan films as a whole are goofy and dumb, but I don't really think that's the case. Tomorrow Never Dies is probably the silliest of the first three thanks to Jonathan Pryce but even that has a fairly grounded story, but otherwise, I spent much of the last two films wondering where they got such a negative reputation. But then I saw Die Another Day... Oh, boy.

Die Another Day is the definition of "throw everything at the kitchen sink and see what sticks". It starts off with a gritty and muted opening where Bond is imprisoned in North Korea for over a year. He's then accused of leaking information while in prison so he goes off on his own to figure out who set him up. Okay, solid premise, unfortunately the first half-hour feels like an entirely different movie from everything else. Bond quickly turns back to normal despite his imprisonment in a fashion akin to Sonic Forces's very similar opening, we learn a North Korean colonel Bond killed is alive and used genetic engineering to change his own race to Caucasian (that's gotta be racist, right? That feels racist), there's a bonkers fencing fight, Madonna shows up as a guest star, Bond surfs an ugly CGI tidal wave, there's an invisible car, a palace made of ice, a mech suit?! Die Another Day doesn't just go off the rails, it goes off the fucking planet. Oh, and don't get me started on the bizarre editing, with its random slow-motion at the worst possible time. And oh my god, there's a scene where Bond goes to London and London Calling by The Clash starts playing? Bond is British, it's not like he's going to some foreign location! Die Another Day feels like a nonsensical collection of random ideas rather than an actual movie. There's no cohesion, no logic, every scene feels entirely disconnected from everything else. It's a mess, plain and simple.

It also doesn't help that Die Another Day is an anniversary film, and unlike other anniversary films like Skyfall and No Time To Die, which pay respect to the franchise through big emotional swings, Die Another Day just stuffs itself with callbacks to previous Bond movies. Even more, the plot references and takes influence from other Bond plots, which ends up really explaining why Die Another Day feels so disjointed. It's not trying to tell a good story on its own, it's taking nostalgic elements from the rest of the series and filling in the blanks. So yeah, Die Another Day is really bad, but that begs the question: Is it a "So bad, it's good" film ala Spock's Brain or a "So bad, it's bad" film ala Star Trek: Insurrection? Eh, it's kinda both. There are some genuinely great moments like the solid cold open, the thrilling sword fight, and literally everything about Miranda Frost, and there are also like some hilarious dumb stuff like Halle Berry and Toby Stephens hamming it up as Jinx and Graves respectively, that ridiculous car chase, and pretty much the entire final battle. I'm a sucker for early 2000s trash, after all, so there are points in DAD when I was really enjoying myself. Unfortunately, that just didn't happen too frequently. Die Another Day also has some really boring stretches, particularly in the notably less weird first half, making for an inconsistent "So bad, it's good" film. This isn't an ironic masterpiece like The Room or Spock's Brain, or a camp classic like Batman & Robin.

Overall, Die Another Day is easily the worst Bond film I've seen yet, and it's not even close. While it does have its genuinely good moments as well as some hilariously bad guilty pleasure moments, the enjoyable parts aren't quite prevalent enough for DAD to cross the line into full-on guilty pleasure. The movie is still bogged down by a disjointed and nonsensical plot, bizarre editing decisions, and horrid CGI.

1/5 Stars

Here's how I'd rank the Pierce Brosnan movies:

1. Tomorrow Never Dies
2. Goldeneye
3. The World Is Not Enough
4. Die Another Day

See you next time when I review the James Bond underdogs, Timothy Dalton and George Lazenby.