Reviewing Every James Bond Movie: Final Rankings

And here we are, I watched the entire James Bond series. This is what you've been waiting for, here's my ranking of the Bond films:

1. On Her Majesty's Secret Service
2. Casino Royale
3. Tomorrow Never Dies
4. Goldfinger
5. Goldeneye
6. Skyfall
7. For Your Eyes Only
8. License To Kill
9. From Russia With Love
10. The Spy Who Loved Me
11. The Living Daylights
12. You Only Live Twice
13. Octopussy
    
14. Dr No
15. Moonraker
16. No Time To Die
17. Thunderball
18. The World Is Not Enough
19. Spectre
20. Quantum Of Solace
21. A View To A Kill
22. Live And Let Die
23. Die Another Day
24. Diamonds Are Forever
25. The Man With The Golden Gun

And you know what, let's go the whole hog here, I also ranked the Bond actors, not just by the movies but also their performances:

1. Pierce Brosnan (I don't care. Brosnan is an ideal Bond for me, he has the appearance and attitude down pat. I grew up with this guy, I love his games, he's the first person to come to mind when I think of the character. I know his films can be a bit trashy, but I think the first two are legitimately great and even the bad ones have great performances from him and loads of potential.)
   
2. Daniel Craig (Probably my favorite in terms of acting, he perfectly embodies Bond. His movies may be polarizing, but even his worst isn't as bad as some of the others' worst. So many Bond actors get tired of the role and stop putting in effort in the later films, but Craig kills it even when he's thinking of leaving.)
3. Timothy Dalton (Dalton is the most underrated Bond, hands down. I don't even think he's too serious, he can do sly sarcasm perfectly. Both of his films are great if not super remarkable, and his acting is consistently fantastic. I wish he made more movies, but I'm also glad it means he didn't end up getting a dud.
4. Sean Connery (Sean Connery is the quintessential Bond, for sure, and he has some iconic movies, but he also has some weak films and performances, and the sexism/racism of the era can be hard to look past at times.)
5. George Lazenby (OHMSS is a phenomenal movie, one of if not the best in the series, but it's not because of Lazenby as an actor. He's good as the tender personal stuff but otherwise he's kinda meh.)
6. Roger Moore (Moore has his good points. TSWLM and FYEO are genuinely great, and Octopussy and Moonraker are fun. However, his run is married with tension-breaking comedy, a disgustingly thin and sleazy portrayal in the near unwatchable first two movies, and the fact that he visibly aged out of the role by the end.)
   

As well as the Bond villains:

1. Alec Trevelyan (Goldeneye)
2. Goldfinger (Goldfinger)
3. Blofeld (You Only Live Twice)
4. Elektra King (The World Is Not Enough)
5. Le Chiffre (Casino Royale)
6. Elliot Carver (Tomorrow Never Dies)
7. Blofeld (On Her Majesty's Secret Service)
8. Max Zorin (A View To A Kill)
9. Scaramanga (The Man With The Golden Gun)
10. Rosa Klebb (From Russia With Love)
11. Franz Sanchez (License To Kill)
12. Hugo Drax (Moonraker)
13. Silva (Skyfall)
14. Stromberg (The Spy Who Loved Me)
15. Dr Kananga (Live Or Let Die)
16. Emilio Largo (Thunderball)
17. Safin (No Time To Die)
18. Dr No (Dr No)
19. Kristatos (For Your Eyes Only)
20. Koskov & Whitaker (The Living Daylights)
21. Kamal Khan (Octopussy)
22. Blofeld (Diamonds Are Forever)
23. Gustav Graves (Die Another Day)
24. Dominic Greene (Quantum Of Solace)
25. Blofeld (Spectre)

As well as the Bond henchmen:

1. Jaws (The Spy Who Loved Me/Moonraker)
2. Oddjob (Goldfinger)
3. Dario (License To Kill)
4. Necros (The Living Daylights)
5. Red Grant (From Russia With Love)
6. Mr Hinx (Spectre)
7. Mr Wint & Mr Kidd (Diamonds Are Forever)
8. Miranda Frost (Die Another Day)
9. May Day (A View To A Kill)
10. Stamper (Tomorrow Never Dies)
11. Tee-Hee (Live And Let Die)
12. Onatopp (Goldeneye)
13. Bunt (On Her Majesty's Secret Service)
14. Eric Kriegler (For Your Eyes Only)
15. Fiona Volpe (Thunderball)
16. Renard (The World Is Not Enough)
17. General Orlov (Octopussy)
18. Professor Bunt (Dr No)
19. Osata (You Only Live Twice)
20. Tang Ling Zao (Die Another Day)
21. General Medrano (Quantum Of Solace)
22. Nick Nack (The Man With The Golden Gun)
23. Baron Samedi (Live And Let Die)

As well as the Bond girls:

1. M (Skyfall)
2. Tracy (On Her Majesty's Secret Service)
3. Octopussy (Octopussy)
   
4. Wai Lin (Tomorrow Never Dies)
5. Vesper (Casino Royale)
   
6. Melina (For Your Eyes Only)
7. Pam (License To Kill)
8. Domino (Thunderball)
9. Camille (Quantum Of Solace)
10. Kara Milovy (The Living Daylights)
11. Anya Amasova (The Spy Who Loved Me)
12. Stacey Sutton (A View To A Kill)
13. Pussy Galore (Goldfinger)
14. Natalya (Goldeneye)
15. Jinx (Die Another Day)
16. Tatiana Romanova (From Russia With Love)
17. Nomi (No Time To Die)
18. Honey Ryder (Dr No)
19. Madeleine (Spectre/No Time To Die)
20. Solitare (Live And Let Die)
21. Kissy (You Only Live Twice)
22. Holly Goodhead (Moonraker)
23. Tiffany Case (Diamonds Are Forever)
24. Mary Goodnight (The Man With The Golden Gun)
25. Christmas Jones (The World Is Not Enough)

As well as the Bond openings:

1. Trevelyan's Death (Goldeneye) - In the span of a single opening, Brosnan goes bungee jumping, watches Sean Bean die for the 20th time, evades a room-full of Russians, chases after a plane on foot, chases after a plane on motorcycle, and rides said motorycle off a cliff before entering said plane in mid-air. Peak Bond.
2. Bond Dies (Skyfall) - Not the biggest fan of it on a story level but when the action is this dynamic, inventive, and fun, it's hard to really care.
3. Ski Chase (The Spy Who Loved Me) - A fun chase scene with a groovy score capped off with one of the coolest stunts in any film ever.
4. Bond Makes 00 (Casino Royale) - Short but sweet, the action is brutal and punchy, and the editing is on-point.
5. Parachute Grab (Moonraker) - Roger Moore really does have the best stunts. Utterly awe-inspiring.
6. Day Of The Dead (Spectre) - Though disconnected from the plot, a stylish and elegant sequence with a great long-take and some impressive stunts.
7. Nuclear Missile (Tomorrow Never Dies) - While not anything too special, the MI-6 focus was a welcome change of pace and the action was typically great
8. Red Grant's Debut (From Russia With Love) - A perfectly intimidating debut for one of the better Bond henchmen
9. Madeline's Backstory & Italy Chase (No Time To Die) - Way too long for an opening and I wasn't a fan of the Madeleine stuff but that chase scene was fantastic.
10. Hovercraft Chase (Die Another Day) - Feels like an entirely different movie from the one we got, but not inherently a bad one, the chase is actually pretty fun!
11. The Jetpack (Thunderball) - That opening fight scene? Top-notch. Bond pulling a jetpack out of nowhere? Utterly ridiculous. Thunderball in a nutshell.
12. Siberia Chase (A View To A Kill) - Definitely a fun and dynamic action sequence, though you can tell it's a TSWLM clone and the California Girls needle-drop is bizarre
13. Homing Missile (Octopussy) - Not super remarkable but stands up with all of the cool Moore era stunts.
14. Spy Training (The Living Daylights) - Fun action, good intro to Dalton's Bond, but I can't shake the fact that it's basically just Among Us
15. Boat Chase (The World Is Not Enough) - There were some cool stunts in there, but the chase felt oddly sluggish, probably because of the opening's crushing length
16. Shaken Not Stirred (Goldfinger) - A perfect encapsulation of everything that makes Bond Bond, but it doesn't really stand out on its own merits.
17. Making The Wedding (License To Kill) - While the central stunt was awe-inducing, the action in general just wasn't as frantic as in some of the other openings.
18. Killing Off Blofeld (For Your Eyes Only) - The helicopter fight was fun and all, but man, what a lackluster way to kill off a character.
19. Car Chase (Quantum Of Solace) - A fun and chaotic chase marred by choppy and inconsistent editing. 
20. Gasp! Another Bond?! (On Her Majesty's Secret Service) - It's not a bad opening but the beach fight feels pretty small-scale and unmemorable compared to like literally every other opening
21. Scaramanga's Gun (The Man With The Golden Gun) - Decent intro for Scaramanga but feels like a lesser version of FRWL's opening
22. Bond Dies (You Only Live Twice) - The space stuff was visually cool but come on, did anyone actually believe Bond was dead?
23. Agents Die (Live And Let Die) - Bond doesn't even show up, what a waste!
24. "Where's Blofeld?!" (Diamonds Are Forever) - What a messy-ass and misleading opening. The pacing and tone is so out of control here.

As well as the Bond third acts:

1. The Cradle (Goldeneye) - Tense, exciting, climactic final battle with one of the best villain deaths in the series. A case study in how to pull off a third act.
2. Volcano Base Showdown (You Only Live Twice) - Everything you'd want from a final battle. It's tense, thrilling, bonkers, and exciting. From Blofeld, to the ninjas, to the volcano set, to the action scenes, what's not to like?
3. Tanker Truck Chase (License To Kill) - Super chaotic, utterly balls-to-the-walls action with some truly crazy stuntwork. LTK really saved the best for last.
4. Storming Blofeld's Base (On Her Majesty's Secret Service) - Fantastic third act, the bobsled fight was shockingly brutal, Tracy actually got to fight, and that final scene is truly legendary.
5. Stopping The Bomb And Saving Octopussy (Octopussy) - A third act so good it makes the film better. Filled with impressive stunts, nail-biting tension, bonkers pacing, and some truly dynamic action sequences. An all-time high for the series.
6. Fort Knox (Goldfinger) - Maybe a bit cheesy nowadays but Bond's fights with Oddjob and Goldfinger respectively are great, and the whole third act feels climactic and perfectly-paced.
7. Spaceship Battle (Moonraker) - Is it stupid? Yes. Is it badass? Yes. Say what you will about Bond going to space, this is a climactic battle elevated by phenomenal set design and special effects. Also, Jaws and Bond teaming up is just plain sick, I'm sorry.
8. Mountainside Battle (For Your Eyes Only) - That cliff climbing sequence is one of my favorite moments in all of Bond, nail-bitingly tense.
9. Vesper's Death (Casino Royale) - As disjointed as it is, the action is as tight as the rest of the movie, and Vesper's death still hits hard.
10. Stromberg's Lair (The Spy Who Loved Me) - Not super remarkable but satisfying nonetheless, the set design is great, the big battle scene is impressive to this day, Stromberg and Jaws got great deaths, and the bomb defusal was one of the more tense Bond scenes
11. Submarine Fight (Tomorrow Never Dies) - While a bit over-indulgant in its action, it's still a fun and tense end to a great film
12. Home Invasion (Skyfall) - M's death? Fantastic. Visuals? Stunning. The Home Alone-esque final battle? Kinda lame.
13. "One Shot, Make It Count" (Quantum Of Solace) - The action is as uneven as the rest of the movie, but damn do those final scenes save it for me.
14. Golden Gate Bridge (A View To A Kill) - While short and slightly hampered by Moore's age, this is still a tense and climactic final battle with a fantastic setting.
15. Destroying The Opium (The Living Daylights) - A bit hit or miss. The ground-level fight was a bit of a mess and Whitaker's final battle was underwhelming, but goddamn, if that cargo plane fight isn't one of the best setpieces in the whole series
16. Bond Dies (No Time To Die) - The staircase fight is fun, but the Safin fight is anticlimactic, and the ending is way too overlong and sappy.
17. Racing To Venice (From Russia With Love) - A sequence of good but disconnected action sequences that feel like the film was losing steam after Red Grant's death.
18. Taking Down Kananga (Live Or Let Die) - The Samedi fight was ridiculous, but both the shark sequence and the Tee-Hee fight were genuinely suspenseful and ended the movie on a relatively good note
19. Submarine Fight (The World Is Not Enough) - Even if Renard is lame, this could've been a really tense and claustrophobic finale if it didn't feel so cheap.
20. Underwater War (Thunderball) - I actually like the underwater battles, it still looks super great today. The boat fight, on the other hand, was ruined by liberal usage of speed-up.
21. Vs Dr No (Dr No) - Definitely the best action scene in the film, brutal and tense, but it's also short and fairly oafish
22. House Of Mirrors (The Man With The Golden Gun) - Cartoonish setting aside, the mano-a-mano showdown between Bond and Scaramanga was decent by the film's dreadfully low standards, but then that awful Nick Nack fight ruined things.
23. Plane Fight (Die Another Day) - At this point, DAD has gone full sci-fi and it's as fun as it is ridiculous. It's also by no means a good third act for any movie.
24. Oil Rig Finale (Diamonds Are Forever) - Like much of the rest of the film, it's just plain off. The cheap-looking explosions, the dull lighting, the typically uneven tone, the bad editing, it's just... not good... at all...
25. London Fight (Spectre) - The film already lost my good will with Blofeld but the lack of any sort of tension or kinetic action leads to a very bland ending.

And finally, the lyrical Bond themes:

1. You Know My Name (Casino Royale) - This is definitely my rock bias showing, but You Know my Name just hits different.
2. Live And Let Die - This is the only Bond theme I regularly hear on the radio, and absolutely deserved. It's dynamic, unique, and distinctly Paul McCartney.
3. Goldeneye - Smooth. As. Hell.
4. The World Is Not Enough - Another great rock track. It's dark, edgy, and packs a killer hook.
5. The Living Daylights - Damn, the Take On Me guys made a Bond theme? It's good too, a real 80s head-banger. Not enough people talk about this one, it's really good.
6. Skyfall - Adele is always a win. An opening so good they tried to replicate it twice to no avail.
7. A View To A Kill - One of those themes where you can really feel the artist's influence. This is a Duran Duran song through and through, with all of their typically fantastic quirks. 
8. You Only Live Twice - Wistful and dreamlike in the best way possible, Nancy Sinatra's voice and the guitar in the background just mesh perfectly with each other
9. Tomorrow Never Dies - A solid track elevated by Sheryl Crow's vocals and a strong chorus.
10. All Time High (Octopussy) - Just good vibes throughout. A romantic ballad that actually fits the film.
11. Diamonds Are Forever - Takes a bit of time to really build up, but that drop in the middle is so groovy. Definitely the biggest earworm of Bassey's themes.
12. Goldfinger - Super iconic, with great lyrics and vocals from Bassey, but not the type of theme I'd listen to outside of the context of the movie.
13. Moonraker - Easily one of the most, if not the most beautiful Bond theme, though it's not all that hummable. As you can see, Bassey's themes are all similar in quality for me.
14. The Man With The Golden Gun - I love how it's basically a Disney villain song, it just has that kind of energy
15. Another Way To Die (Quantum Of Solace) - Underrated song, honestly. It's shamelessly 2000s, but super catchy.
16. License To Kill - I did not expect one of the darkest Bond movies to get a full-on 80s power ballad. It's a good song, but it doesn't come anywhere near fitting the movie.
17. Thunderball - Tom Jones's booming voice really carries this one because otherwise, this song is kind of a bore
18. For Your Eyes Only - The first 80s Bond film gets a very 80s theme song. It's fine, but the similar License To Kill just clinches it for me.
19. Nobody Does It Better (The Spy Who Loved Me) - Yeah, I'm sorry, this one is just too corny for me
20. No Time To Die - I like Billie Eilish, don't get me wrong, but I don't think her style fits a Bond theme.
21. Writing On The Wall (Spectre) - I don't want to bash Sam Smith too much, but let's face it, this song is very grating.
22. Die Another Day - Did Madonna seriously just say "Analyze this"?! Filth. Pure filth.

Honorable Mention goes to the theme song to On Her Majesty's Secret Service, which hits super hard after watching the film and I'd say is even better than the main James Bond theme.