Ranking Super Mario 64 Worlds

Super Mario 64 is a great game, we all know this. While I personally prefer the linear 3D Marios, there's something about SM64 that just keeps me coming back, probably a mix of the fun movement, the bite-sized levels, and the fun vibes of it all. So seeing as I replayed it yet again recently, why not rank all 15 main Super Mario 64 worlds:

15. Dire, Dire Docks

We can all agree Dire Dire Docks is the worst one, right? Like it's barely a level, almost unfinished feeling. There are just so many bizarre design decisions here, like the Bowser sub that lags the game, the several clams with nothing in them, one of the Star's names being straight-up reused from a previous course, the Star you arbitrarily can't play without beating Bowser first, the giant hole that warps you to outside the castle, the two major sections being connected by a tunnel with nothing in it that takes forever to swim through due to the slow swimming speed, the several stars forcing you to swim right up next to the whirlpool, the treasure chests being spaced so far apart, and the insanely strict 100 Coin star.

And the worst part is that despite all of this, Dire Dire Docks is so easy. All of its stars can be gotten super quickly, there's no challenge or creativity whatsoever. There are a few moments of brilliance though, albeit fleeting. Collect The Caps is the only star to require using multiple caps at the same time, Manta Ray's Secret is a genuinely fun diversion, and the harbor theme is theoretically neat even if it's not utilized as well as it could've been. And that's a shame because aside from that, Dire Dire Docks just kinda lacks an identity. It's just there. While I have my issues with some of the other stages, Dire Dire Docks really is the only blemish on a game where most of the stages are at the very least good.

14. Rainbow Ride

My opinions of difficulty can basically be summed up like this: I love a good challenge, do your worst, but for the love of god, don't waste my time. Rainbow Ride is a brutally hard stage, possibly one of the toughest in the Mario series, but it's not hard because the platforming is inherently super difficult. It's hard because of how much dying sets you back. Rainbow Ride's various setpieces are connected by lengthy boring auto-scrolling segments, so dying means it's a long and dull road back. And even if you don't die, you'll still have to do the same dull autoscroll segments for pretty much every star. This also makes getting 100 coins an absolute pain in the ass because that requires exploration and Rainbow Ride is not a very fun stage to explore.

And that's a real shame because I do think a lot of those individual setpieces are really cool. I love the surreal nature of the big house and flying ship, the maze and infamous blue coin switch are great tests of your wall-kicking abilities, and Swinging In The Breeze and Tricky Triangles are both pretty fantastic platforming challenges. If you took these setpieces and just crammed them together a bit more, I'd easily rank Rainbow Ride a lot higher.

13. Tiny Huge Island

I never got the hype around this one. Tiny Huge Island is a stage where I like all the missions, but navigating it is an absolute pain in the ass. The novelty of the size-changing gimmick is neat at first, but it makes actually going around Tiny Huge Island such a massive drag. The small island is super cramped and so filled with hills that not falling off feels almost luck-based at times, while the big island takes forever to traverse and you're rarely able to actually see what's around you. And even putting the size mechanic aside, this stage just feels so disjointed and all over the place in its design. It all makes going for 100 Coins an utter chore.

As I said, the real saving grace here is the star missions. Fighting a group of giant Piranha Plants is a blast, racing Koopa The Quick is always a good time, the red coins platforming section is pretty fun, and the Wiggler boss fight itself is hands down the best utilization of the size changing mechanic. Breaking a hole into the small island and then entering it in the big island to fight Wiggler is super creative, and I'd definitely say it would be one of the games' best stars if I just didn't dislike Tiny Huge Island as a location so much.

12. Tall, Tall Mountain

Tall, Tall Mountain is probably the stage I find most boring and unmemorable. I think a big reason for that is down to the look of the stage itself, which is super dull and muddy. Gameplay-wise, Tall Tall Mountain fundamentally suffers from a lack of shortcuts. Many stars require you to make your way to the top of the mountain, but with barely any shortcuts or alternate paths, you're pretty much stuck making the same lengthy treks multiple times in a row. It's not even like that trek is hard or un-fun, just really repetitious. 

The missions are also hit-or-miss. I find catching the monkey to be super annoying, way worse than the MIPS chase in the castle. Blast Through The Lonely Mushroom also isn't fun due to the way cannons work, it's actually easier to use a Fly-Guy instead. On the other hand, the red coins star is a pretty fun time, and Mysterious Mountainside is easily one of my Top 5 stars in the game. I already adore the slide levels, but the one in Tall Tall Mountain is hands down my favorite for its memorable visuals and devilish bait-and-switches. Overall, it really is that slide star that pushes Tall Tall Mountain this high on the list.

11. Hazy Maze Cave

Hazy Maze Cave is a stage where I really like its level design, but am not really huge on its missions. Like many of my favorite SM64 stages, Hazy Maze Cave has a sprawling, naturalistic look to it. Exploring this labyrinth cave is intriguing, and there's loads of memorable and varied setpieces scattered around like the black hole, the Dorrie lake, and the toxic maze. It even has a hidden portal to one of the Cap stages, the only SM64 stage to even do that. Simply exploring Hazy Maze Cave is a fun time.

However, the Star missions are fairly underwhelming. Many of them simply boil down to "go to the lake", "go to the boulders", or "go to the toxic maze". There aren't any super memorable tasks you need to do or puzzles you need to solve, they're mostly just navigation based. In addition, Hazy Maze Cave's size can be a bit of a double-edged sword. While it does make the stage more varied and fun to explore, it also makes going for the 100 Coin star to be a bit of a pain because of how long it takes to get everything.

10. Bob-Omb Battlefield

In terms of layout and nothing else, Bob-Omb Battlefield is easily one of the best stages in the game. It's simply a great first level, a vast playground to experiment in with your moves, and that first star of climbing up the mountain to fight King Bob-Omb feels pretty much like the perfect "first 3D platformer stage". I can't imagine how awe-inspiring it must've been to have played this stage in 1996, making your way up this seemingly daunting climb and beating the big bad boss at the top. Nowadays, that may seem fairly quaint. At the time, that must've felt like one hell of an accomplishment.

However, Bob-Omb Battlefield kinda peaks with that first mission because the rest of the stars are kinda hit-or-miss. The Chain Chomp, Koopa The Quick, and red coin stars are pretty good, but everything involving the floating island absolutely suck. These are the first cannon missions in the game but all of the cannon placements feel super awkward compared to the ones in Whomp's Fortress and Jolly Roger Bay, so a new player is going to have trouble getting the positioning right. In addition, the Wing Cap star is kinda bad. Not only does it essentially require backtracking since you get the Wing Cap at 10 stars, but actually getting it isn't really fun because of the finnicky secret hitboxes. And the fact that so many coins are in the sky makes getting the 100 Coin star kind of a pain. That's why I couldn't really put Bob-Omb Battlefield much higher. It's an iconic stage for a reason but I'm just not big on some of its missions.

9. Shifting Sand Land

Shifting Sand Land is the definition of a hit-or-miss stage, since it's divided into two sections, one of which I love and one of which I hate. I really don't like the outdoor section, it's riddled with quicksand spam, Klepto is a pain to deal with, and that Wing Cap star is genuinely awful. I do like the Tox Box section, the fact that you get a Shell, and the star on top of the pyramid, but otherwise, this area is one of the most irritating to navigate in the entire game.

On the other hand, I adore the pyramid section. It's a super fun obstacle course filled to the brim with unique enemies and booby traps. As a matter of fact, I'd probably argue that Inside The Ancient Pyramid is flat-out my favorite star in the entire game. Shifting Sand Land's pyramid section also has Eyerok, easily my favorite boss in the game as well. While most SM64 bosses outside of Bowser are fairly simple, Eyerok has an unusually wide array of attacks to fend with. However, while I love pretty much everything about the pyramid, I can't defend the fact that I'm just not a fan of 50% of Shifting Sand Land. As a result, I have to leave it right in the middle of my ranking.

8. Whomp's Fortress

Whomp's Fortress is another stage that I think is just simply really fun to navigate even if all of its stars aren't amazing. The titular fortress is just simply fun to climb, a great and varied platforming challenge filled to the brim with hidden nooks and crannies. I also just simply have a lot of nostalgia for this stage since it was remade in Super Mario Galaxy 2, a game that I played years before I actually got my hands on SM64 for the first time. Similarly to Bob-Omb Battlefield, the first mission is definitely the highlight, but I also quite like the red coin mission and the second star on top of that tower. 

As far as the other missions, though... The two cannon missions are fine but not super memorable. Blast Away The Wall feels kind of unnecessary and also super vague if you're a newcomer, but the real low point of Whomp's Fortress is easily the Hoot star. Hoot is just a pain to use, the top-down camera angle makes him super hard to steer, and where Mario falls when you let go of Hoot feels entirely up to chance. Whenever I finish Fall Onto The Caged Island, I never feel like I actually accomplished anything, I just feel like I was lucky.

Interesting enough, though, Whomp's Fortress is the rare stage that I'd argue was massively improved in the DS version of the game. Not only did it get a entirely original garden area that's equally fun to explore as the rest of the stage, but the Hoot star is way more forgiving and functional. If we were discussing the DS incarnations of these stages, Whomp's Fortress would be quite a bit higher.

7. Snowman's Land

Snowman's Land mostly suffers from being in the shadow of Cool, Cool Mountain, but it's still a really great level in its own right. I love how open it is, compared to the constrictive ledges of its predecessor, Snowman's Land has these vast fields of snow to run around in, filled with little valley, lakes and hills. The missions are pretty much uniformly great across the board, from the fun platforming challenge of climbing up the snowman, to the awesome igloo sub-area, to the tricky Chill Bully fight, to the short  but clever ice maze.

Most of my issues with Snowman's Land are fairly minimal. For starters, dodging the snowman's breath can be a bit finicky. Sometimes I get blown off when I feel like I shouldn't, and other times I don't get blown off despite being literally right in front of him. I also think that the fact that the enemies in the lake and the shell don't respawn makes getting certain stars a bit of a chore since messing up means you either have to kill yourself or climb back up the castle, a waste of time either way. Despite that, Snowman's Land is a fun time through and through. Nothing amazing, but it lacks any truly awful bits either.

6. Tick Tock Clock

Tick Tock Clock should've been a side level. Because I love Tick Tock Clock as an idea. The main gimmick of the speed of the obstacles depending on when you enter the painting is super cool, the mechanical clock-theming still looks pretty great, and there'a a large variety of clock-themed obstacles to deal with. Many of the individual star missions are super fun platforming challenges, and making your way to the very top for Stomp On The Thwomp is easily one of the most satisfying achievements you could possibly get in this game.

However, Tick Tock Clock suffers from the same issue of Tall Tall Mountain where the fact that it's so vertical and linear means you'll have to be scaling the same platforming segments over and over again to get every star. I don't find it as dull as in Tall Tall Mountain because I like Tick Tock Clock's level design, theming, and individual missions, but this is still an issue that drags down the stage from being something truly special.

5. Big Boo's Haunt

While I'm usually not the biggest fan of ghost house stages, I can't deny that Big Boo's Haunt is easily one of the most varied and unique stages in the game. Since much of it takes place inside a mansion, Nintendo really got to play around and experiment with the types of rooms Mario gets to discover. There's the library where books shoot out at you, the coffin room, the merry go round, the trap floor, and of course, the Mad Piano. The mission lineup is also quite solid too. The first two ghost hunt stars are pretty great, the contained nature of the mansion makes getting red coins a breeze, the big Mr I fight is fun if a bit short, and the library star is one of my favorites in the game.

My only gripe with Big Boo's Haunt is the star Big Boo's Balcony, which is definitely up there with some of my least favorites in the game. For starters, this star is the third time you fight the same Big Boo boss in this stage. The first time you fight him is fine, the second time in the merry-go-round works because of the shifting ground and the surprise factor, but fighting him for a third time without any changes is just plain ridiculous. And moving the star to the top of the roof is such a bizarre choice. That roof feels like one of those places that only skilled Mario 64 players can access, even boasting a one-up block to reward you, not unlike that infamous coin spot in Mario Odyssey's Sand Kingdom. And yet, Nintendo forces you do the super risky and tough task of getting onto the roof, and if you fail, it's all the way back up the mansion for you.

This is another case where 64 DS fixes this issue by giving you a Power Flower to use as Mario to float up to the roof, or you could use a Luigi backflip to make the process just as easy.

4. Jolly Roger Bay

Jolly Roger Bay is one of my favorite Mario 64 stages on a visual level. There's just something so atmospheric about it, from the great usage of fog, to the naturalistic level design, to the amazing music (really sucks that it's named after the worse water stage, by the way). Despite being a water level, Jolly Roger Bay never feels annoying. It's contained enough so that the slow swimming speed isn't an issue, and there's just as much on-land bits as there are swimming ones. And between the pirate ship, the hidden cave, and that giant pool of water, there's something so magical about exploring this stage.

It also helps that the missions are pretty stellar. Plunder The Sunken Ship and Treasure In The Ocean Cave are both fantastic, and I'd even argue the red coins star is one of the best in the game. Blast In The Stone Pillar is one of the better cannon-related missions, and while there aren't too many coins, the general lack of enemies to deal with and the contained nature of the stage makes getting the 100 coin star fairly simple. The only star I don't love is the Unagi star because of how finnicky the hitbox on his tail is, but you do get a feel for the timing over time. It's one of those stars that can either be insanely easy or absolutely infiuriating. Otherwise, though, I think Jolly Roger Bay is immensely underrated.

3. Lethal Lava Land

Lethal Lava Land is really close to being my favorite because in terms of sheer gameplay, it's pretty much perfect. The entire stage is a platforming challenge, hopping across the varied floating platforms is a good time, and all of the stars are platforming-focused. The volcano area is also really cool and is similarly filled with varied and memorable platforming obstacles. I even like the admittedly piss easy Bowser puzzle because of just how creative it is. Figuring out how to deal with the bullies can be a bit annoying (the slide kick seems to be the most effective), but otherwise, pretty much every star is a blast. The 100 coin star in particular might just be the best in the game for how it encourages you to use the green Shell to pick up all those stray coins scattered around.

My only gripe with Lethal Lava Land is its appearance. Where most Super Mario 64 stages at least try to look like something, Lethal Lava Land is basically just a pile of floating debris. I really like the more naturalistic-looking Mario 64 stages because it heightens that sense of exploration for me, but Lethal Lava Land looks so flat that it doesn't really feel like I'm exploring anything. Thankfully, the inside of the volcano fares a lot better on the visual front, even though you don't spend as much time in there.

2. Cool, Cool Mountain

Cool, Cool Mountain just nails everything you'd want a Mario 64 stage to nail. It looks great, it's fun to explore, all of its missions are amazing, this is just the complete package. While I do generally prefer the more open look of Snowman's Land, Cool Cool Mountain is definitely my favorite of the "mountain Super Mario 64 stages" for just how cozy it looks. From the several rickety bridges, to the cabins, to the pulley, to the several slides scattered around Cool Cool Mountain captures the look and feel of a ski mountain without actually having any skis in it. It also helps that there is a teleporter that connects the bottom and top of the stage, so there's no issues regarding backtracking here.

The missions are the real star of the show, though. I adore the slides in SM64 and the Cool Cool Mountain slide is no exception, it's always a ton of fun to navigate and discovering that secret shortcut for the first time was amazing. I also love the penguin race even more, especially when you get 120 stars and unlock the harder version of it. The rest of the stars are great too, though. Lil Penguin Lost and Snowman's Lost His Head are surprisingly fun escort missions that give the game a nice dose of variety, Wall Kicks Will Work is a fun platforming challenge that does a good job teaching the player about this game's weird-ass wall jumps, and the red coins star strikes a good balance between being tough but not a punishing waste of time.

1. Wet-Dry World

Something you'll come to know about me when I inevitably get to ranking the Zelda dungeons is that I love stages where you raise and lower the water level. It's such a simple concept that also manages to allow for some very elegant spatial reasoning puzzles. Wet-Dry World is definitely the most puzzle-heavy stage in the game since many of its stars require you to manipulate the water level to achieve a certain task. Sometimes you have to bring the water all the way up to reach a high-up platform, other times you have to leave the water at the bottom and climb up without that buffer. The stars in Wet-Dry World are all super fun platforming challenges that require a lot of thought, but what really elevates it is just how much freedom you still get regardless. The fact that you can manipulate the water depending on how you enter the painting means there's countless methods to getting stars a lot of the time, and it really utilizes Mario's vast moveset to its fullest.

On an aesthetic level, Wet-Dry World is also fascinating. Many have found Super Mario 64's simplistic graphics to be somewhat creepy, but Wet-Dry World is infamous for its unsettling vibes. The background is a vast city drowned under water, the world itself feels almost entirely devoid of life, and that's not even getting into the underwater city. In terms of gameplay, that underwater city is awesome. Hopping across rooftops to collect coins is a blast, and the fact that such a massive chunk of the stage is hidden away from you makes for such an amazing secret. On a visual level, the underwater city is also super eerie. I'm sure Nintendo wanted to recreate an actual city as well as they could with the hardware they had, but with its lack of NPCs, dull color palette and the fact that it was initially underwater, it feels deserted and lifeless.

Personally, I rarely even think about the ramifications of Wet-Dry World as a location because I'm usually just having so much fun with the level itself, but every once in a while, that eerie atmosphere really hits me. It's that combination of aesthetic and gameplay that makes Wet-Dry World my favorite level in Super Mario 64.